NatashaMarie

http://nmaariee.tumblr.com/

2010-11-24T01:27:00.000+08:00

http://nmaariee.tumblr.com/

p/s: one more day to go.

2010-11-07T12:01:00.003+08:00

CHANEL CHANEL CHANEL. CHUCK BASS CHUCK BASS CHUCK BASS (: hot-ness.

lately, its been nthg bt Gossip Girl, Chanel, 90210, Family Guy &BigBangTheory! besides studying of course.
i have only 2 more papers to go. tmr, which is Social Studies! thn another one on th 12! IT'L OFFICIALLY BE OVER. th taste of 6mnths of Freedom. oh yeah!

tmr's special too. i'l be Sexy Seventeen! too bad Nick's nt in singapore to celebrate it w' me. oh fk.
he's gone to India on a fishing boat trip. IKR! all th way to India jst to fish -.- HAHA. i miss him anws.

few days back, i went for a few job interviews. Chanel, Forever21 &one at Borders.
waiting for their call (: speaking of calling, i have 2 numbers now. th old number, 8157, is currently not in service. Mummy deactivated it for leaving th house last week... till now, i've been using a prepaid line.
its annoying how i've to activate all tht bullshit. keep checking on my bal, of which i forgot to do so. &ystd, i was gg insane trying to figure out why my phone couldnt send any text messages out at all. HAHA. bimbotic much.

I PUT ON WEIGHT. abit more chubby all round. lol.
this is random i knw bt, i wana play L4D2.
oh &whn i grow up, besides all th glam stuff tht i want, i wana build a machine like wht M.I.B has. th one whr i can erase all those unpleasant memories i had w' him.

i need to go Shopping D:

p/s: one more day to go.

p/s: thr's nt a thing tht i would change.

2010-09-19T19:27:00.003+08:00

my hair is red. not entirely bt its red.
Raphie thought its my natural hair colour -.- was Gorgeous's hair model(:
i have no idea how i am gg to hide it tmr, oh crap. good luck trying to avoid getting caught.
oh &i seriously need my hair to grow longer. grow grow grow pls. at least until below my boobs or smth. haha.

Lady♥ T &i was recruited to join some cheerleading squad from pasir ris by Gorgeous(: starting practice on Tuesday!
th stunts, th cheers, th everyth.... OMG. kinda excited actually.
DAAAAMN!
shit part is, starts at 4, ends at 10. o level's jst arnd th corner, almost in a mnths time, i swear i gota start studying like, study more thn i alrd am if nt, fuck. im dead meat. literally.

i've been trying to go on a diet bt it doesnt seem to be working out. i jst keep eating &eating &eating. i feel fatter thn i was ystd. tsk. fml. why cant i have a high metabolism weight?!

i feel like shopping all of a sudden. i wouldnt mind working like 6days a week thn spend half my pay on clothes &shoes.
my wardrobe's almost empty. someone please give me an unlimited credit card which i can swipe all day w/o having to worry abt paying for it after or may a kind soul leave a chanel bag outside my door. i will be satisfied.
bt AS IF anyone's gona do tht. heh. wishful thinking much.

th lady♥ies has been rather busy off late so i've nt seen em as often as i use to ):
afta exams, we're planning to work together! it'l be more thn jst fun, tht i can bet. heeh!

oh! thr's gona be prom night bt... venue, school. at least thr's gona be a dance floor &music. tht's all u need to start a party gg.
th theme's blue &white.
30 bucks for th ticket &it'l be held on th 25th of November.
by thn, hols would have started. im really hoping tht thr's an event held on th same day. so at least i can sacrifice one night off of work to club afta tht.

alright. i've decided to make a few changes to my blogskin. its a bit.... eew. so yeah.

p/s: thr's nt a thing tht i would change.

p/s: if you are not too long, i'l wait for you here, all my life.

2010-09-01T18:17:00.003+08:00

ystd was one of th wildest days of my life.
no details will be mentioned. story's too long &its really messy.

tmr's my english paper. prelims. my favourite subject &i really hope to do well.

will be blogging agn tmr.

p/s: if you are not too long, i'l wait for you here, all my life.

p/s: our r/s was built to last♥

2010-08-29T15:05:00.004+08:00

its a sunday afternoon &my throat is more painful thn ever.

i had a great weekend.
managed to catch a movie at DhobyGhaut ystd. the Cathay actually afta meeting Sab :D watched GrownUps:DD was laughing throughout!
thn i was treated to brownies♥ -P.Osh. th best i ever had.
Tracy &i were treated to SushiTei at Paragon by Faris &Mhd.

th day before, i had practical prelims in th morning afta which, headed to cityLink.
went to the Bazzar at Geylang afta which.

i cant wait for my hair to grow longer longer longer :D haha.
i made up my mind abt saving up money. i wana be able to shop at least once a week.
can someone pls fast forward time till o levels are over?? i have to start working &making money so tht i can buy clothes :D
i have no idea whts w' me &clothes these days! haha.

i would really like a carousel:DD

p/s: our r/s was built to last♥

p/s: i'm jst so much into you.

2010-08-22T14:17:00.002+08:00

wake up in th morning feeling like P.Diddy

i went to bed sober afta drinking Tracy's Anchor D:
drama mayhem at Cine agn. skater guy this time. last night was rough i tell ya.
i swear i def am gona raise my son to be a real gentleman.

spotted at Shaw Lido's escalator in th afternoon, before watching Step up 3D w' Sabrina &Faris.
i almost burst into tears whn i saw him& it put me in a really awkward position.
sometimes i feel like getting hit by a car. &th accident would cause me a memory loss of th past 2 years.

so i went to th arcade w' Sabrina, Tracy &Karm &Man.
para para, time crisis 4 &th other dancing one which reuqires yr feet. haha. i had fun w' em.
Tracy was so into parapara. her first time dancing tht :D

shopping shopping shopping at forever 21 th day before tht.

p/s: i'm jst so much into you.

p/s: anyth, really, as long as its w' you.

2010-08-19T21:56:00.002+08:00

zzzz. im tired, &sleepy &i really need my beauty sleep. i'l be turning in early :D
im having a terrible headache now.

today was more thn just tideous. instead of serving 2 hrs detention, second session, i served 2half hrs. fuck my life.
bt he let th other girl off earlier. wht happened to every individual being treated equal &fairly?

Eugene &Justina waited for me afta school. walked to th market &ended up having duck rice for dinner thr.
travelled all th way to teban &pandan to meet Indah, Justina's place thn counselling -.-
reached home at 8.30pm sharp. jst nice, Mummy was otphone w' MrBasheer.
bt this time she couldnt lecture me abt nt picking up her call bcos my phone is still w' MrBasheer.
apparently, Mummy isnt very happy about it.

i keep deactivating my facebook bt somehow it keeps activating it back on its own.
looks like someone's hacking my account. if someone is, screw you! please, stop. i dnt wana be active in it anymore. i cant really be fked logging in &out. sick of facebook. haha. thr! i said it!

goodnight.

p/s: anyth, really, as long as its w' you.

p/s: boy, i'd kiss yr lips all day if u let me ♥

2010-08-18T19:19:00.003+08:00

Hi darlings! im back :D

i got my O level result today! for chinese obviously.
B3? 3 distinctions. im sort of happy abt it. but i havent told mummy yet. she's prolly gona get upset. she had higher hopes for me.

lets see... whts new?
errm, my phone's confiscated by MrKoh. getting it bk tmr. hopefully D:
its a really long story. i dont really wana talk abt it. foolish me.
currently using Sab's prepaid card bt i have like, 1 cent left. pointless.

im leading a happier life now.
my relationship w' everyone is def improving :DD started to study more.
met th Lady♥ies th other day. prolly gona meet em agn on Friday or Saturday. babes, i have smth for ya'l :D haha. im so sweet right? fking random bt yeah.

i've changed. so i've been told(: in a good way thou. thank god.

i'l be blogging quite often now. stay tune ppl.
deactivated my facebook. jst until O's are over.

meeting up w' Ain &th rest on th 28th:D gona break fast w' em.
i havent seen em for ages. i swear i miss them.
we'l be heading to Geylang. speaking of which, i gota get th B.K as well. LOL.

p/s: boy, i'd kiss yr lips all day if u let me ♥

p/s:baby i'l mend yr broken heart, i'l give you a brand new start.

2010-08-03T16:42:00.002+08:00

someone take me to watch th last air bender pls? && salt?? pretty please? heh.

im changing. no drugs, no drinking, no smoking.
alrt, smoking... im cutting down. slowly bt surely &thn totally stop.
for th better. for th sake of myself, mummy &my future tht i share w' him.

im looking forward to th coming weekend :D

i hate you. i hate yr guts. i hate yr ego. i hate yr pride.
i hate th fact tht u are being so ignorant.
i hate th fact tht u are u.

i forgive you, for everyth you've done. for walking outta my life jst like tht, for breaking my heart, for leaving me bcos i wanted you to commit. or w'ver yr reason is.
bt im way past th stage whr i start looking bk, start missing those memories &start breaking down every day, or every time i think abt you. im over tht.
cos it actually taught me so much more things &it changed me as a person.
i may have forgiven you bt i will nvr forget wht happened.
i nvr wana be w' u ever agn. i nvr wana see u ever agn.
it was a valuable lesson learned &once bitten twice shy. im not gona risk anyth.
u did it before, u can do it agn, i take my heart bk.

i've nvr hated anyone so much in my life. i cant be fked anymore. hahaah.

p/s:baby i'l mend yr broken heart, i'l give you a brand new start.

p/s: Taken ✔ He took me to heaven♥

2010-07-31T12:35:00.003+08:00

hi darlings :D im meeting almost everyone today :D
hahaha, nt everyone bt Cookie Monz&th gang, th 2 lady♥ies, T& S, &BaabyDaddy at night. :D

so i met F at cityhall ystd.
headed bk to his place. we went out, &i swear, im Taken ✔ for he took me to heaven♥ (details will nt be listed)
bt he was such a doll :D he was friggin caring &really sweet & w'ver else u can say.
he went to PasirRis afta which. i didnt follow cos we were suppose to have tutorials bt it was cancelled last min. wtfk!
so i spent this entire morning revising my humans.

down for 1 an a half hours of science later:D
super duper long day ahead of me tday. im really psyched:D bringing th camera alng.
i wana play pool &watch a movie &prolly scout arnd for a demin jacket :D

Mummy close a deal. qutie a huge sum so she's decided to give us a treat:D tee-hee.
prolly gonna ask her to buy me clothes or smthg.
or mayb save th money for th end of this year.
F &i have so much in mind:D we've literally planned out alota outtings &places we wana go. things we wana do. &i swear, im alrd saving up as much money as i can. i want everyth to work out well.
everyth's so blissful now:D &i seriously am loving it.

before end of this year, make yr move, before im gone forever. bcos people change &heart's move on.

p/s: Taken ✔ He took me to heaven♥

p/s: Jealousy is jst a way of telling someone u care too much to let them go♥

2010-07-29T18:19:00.003+08:00

i got out of bed this morning, feeling ever so weak &it felt like my energy's totally drained out.
better yet, i didnt sleep at all. i was up th entire night in Nick's room.

its amazing hw i managed to drag myself all th way to th toilet.
i ended up fainting in th toilet D: giving Nick a scare D:
i was sent falling to th ground, to weak to stand bk up on my own feet.
traumatised by wht jst happened to me, i laid thr for a couple of mins D:
F is totally gonna freak out whn he hears abt this. haha.

my lips are swollen, &my chin hit th floor pretty hard. &it hurts.
my forehead has an enormous bump &it was red before i went to school.
a nasty bruise on my thigh, &im really puzzled hw tht gt thr!
scratches on my feet, &i injured my forearm. tried to break my fall bt failed D:
i puked a couple of times afta tht.
it was th worst morning ever D: TH WORST!

still, i got myself to school. climbing up th stairs to th gallery was a killer.
i literally crawled up. haha.
my bag seemed to be so heavy &i didnt even have strength to carry my bag.
thaank God Amalina helped me. i love you girl ♥

ppl thought i got beaten. esp Aden! hhahaa.
i kept quiet during th lessons. i didnt even feel like speaking. jst sleeping &sleeping &sleeping.
my vision would suddenly get blur, i'l have difficulty hearing at some points of time or i'l jst be feeling a lil too dizzy.
i knw th reason so no worries aitee :D

im feeling much better thn before. only now, my throat is giving me problems.
my head still hurts &i've got those hideous scars on my feet. tht bruise &my poor face D: heh.

pray for me will u? i gota get better by tmr D:

&to Shek, thanks for th chocolates :D haha.
u got me totally freaking out bcos yr friends were all arnd &we havent spoken before. yet u still were bold enough to hand it to me :D
it was really sweeet♥ thank you agn.

im looking forward to th weekend i've got many many many plans tht im honestly xcited abt :D

jealousy may be a reason why, &im sure u knw tht im jealous, &u knw hw much my emotions are able to over power everyth bt it looks like u prefer to see me this way. heh.
so you took away everyth from me. bt there's one thing tht u cannot take away. its my Faith♥

p/s: Jealousy is jst a way of telling someone u care too much to let them go♥

p/s: times like this.

2010-07-28T17:27:00.001+08:00

see th pictures up thr?
i took it whn F was fast asleep. haha.
he fell asleep for almost 3 hrs before i decided to wake him. i ended up sitting thr for 3 hrs, thinking abt everyth, thinking bk abt wht i've been thru for th past year.
i simply couldnt bear to wake him, he looked so adorable :D
&i managed to watch th "sun rise".

he could hear my heartbeat. we sat thr till dawn underneath th trees.
every move i made may have woken him so i sat thr as still as i could.
th feeling of having yr love one next to u, is mre thn jst amazing.
u seize every opportunity to treasure every moment &cherish every min possible.

he reminded me wht its like, to feel loved agn.

some things tht are broken, can nvr be fixed bk. tht's jst th way it is.
i trusted u, bt u broke it. so i took it bk.
i forgive u, bt i dnt want to give it to u agn. nt until u prove to me, tht u'l be more carfeul w' it th next time.
thing is, im only afraid tht by th time u're ready to take care of smth so fragile, i would have alrd given it to someone else D:

anws, i'l be gg out this weekend. as per usual. &im kinda xcited. cos its been so long since i've gone out w' em.
i've grown closer to th friends i have in school :D im glad they are always arnd. always thr for me. im ever so grateful. u guys are awesome! no, honestly, ya'l are♥

most prolly i'l be gg to Social House, on th 8th, only if F &Mummy allows.
yeah, w' Aden, Lady♥iesR, Fazli &the rest if im nt wrong &meeting a couple new ppl thr :D super-psyched much!OHMYGOSH. seems like forever since i've clubbed!
im getting IMPATIENT!

I LOVE MY LESBY :D so so so so much!! saayang u MyraRoslan♥

p/s: times like this.

p/s: he is my definition of LOVE.

2010-07-23T23:08:00.002+08:00

i finally got to meet Faris today :DDD
met Lady♥ies Sab before tht! its been so long since i've seen her.
we def did have alota things to talk abt.

i swear tht my life was th total opp of Mundane for th past week D:
it was total CHAOS, MAYHEM &TROUBLE. lol.
bt tonight, everyth honestly paid off. im over th moon, u made my week baaby! heeh.
u cheer me up whn im at my lowest. always thr whn i need u! teee-hee. am i th happiest girl on earth nw, or wht????

but w'ver it is, Nick was really sweet th entire week.
i made mummy cry real badly D: &im sorry. i love you.
if i disappointed u, Sissie, dnt be mad. im changing for th better.
i wont reapeat my foolish mistakes. i'l stop being how i am.
thr's no place like HOME.
OHAMA.

anws, i really appreciate everyone who was thr by my side th past week.
like u guys were being really sweet. i love you all frm th bottom of my heart.
true friends:D u guys stuck by me whn i needed ya'l th most. lending my yr handphones, wanting to chip in money to buy me a card, accompanying me, talking to me, etc... i truly am grateful.
i'l nvr forget this &u knw tht im always here, whthr to be yr shoulder to cry on or anyth, u knw im thr.

so i came bk hme early today. Mummy wanted me home early. i kept my word. see?? i told u i'l be a gd girl from nw on:D
hmm, im gg out tmr, its Faris's Bdae :D gona spoil him like mad. ahaha.
poor baaby, he's sick. really hope he'l get well sooooon.
im hyper-super-duper-fking-really eager to meet him tmr D:

♥p/s: he is my definition of LOVE.

p/s: he's th kinda guy tht u would wana marry.

2010-07-20T18:11:00.007+08:00

so i guess u've heard. i went missing for almost 2 days.
Queen B searched for me high &low &called almost everyone.
sorry to make u worry Mummy. sorry to everyone who gt worried &tried calling me.
i needed a TIME OUT!

tht night was AWESOME :DD it was both special &entertaining. hah.
u knw hw i always say i'd stop drinking?? i broke tht rule &ended up getting wasted.
it was th MOST MOST MOST fk-ed up feeling i ever felt.
eyes werent jst heavy, it was fking heavy. i swear. haha. it was amazing how i managed to wake up afta a few hrs.
suffered frm an incredibly bad hang over afta tht.

anws, the night was magical.

i sat for my o level chinese listening compre earlier. i'l def pass, tht's for sure bt Ace-ing it? i doubt tht.
KR celebrated Racial Harmony tday:D took quite a few photos of me in a Sari. will be uploaded sooon. if nt, check out facebook.

at th end of this year, im gg BALI. nt sure who w' bt fk it. im def gg!
i've gt a long list of things to do right whn O levels are over. xcited much!

anws, i've been gg to th East side th past 2 weeks.
Town jst bring bk unpleasant memories. memories tht im hoping to forget, too much has happened &i cant carry on pretending or lying to myself.
im over it. more or less :DD
besides, i wont want bumping into ppl!
i wont say im avoiding? jst them, nt getting into my way :D haha.

Lady♥ies PLEASE! i need a proper photoshoot outting D:
BADLY!

oh yes, im in love ♥ :DDDD &im happy. &im over th moon.
falling in love w' him. is one of th best feelings :DD

p/s: he's th kinda guy tht u would wana marry.

p/s: you used to hold my world.

2010-07-14T17:45:00.002+08:00

i finally spoke to MiraSherman last night on msn &spoke to him on th phne.
&surpisingly, i gave her my blessings ♥
talked to him for quite a while &its been some time since we've done so.
he told me th truth which felt like a stab. even thou i knew abt it, hearing him admit it felt even worst.

whenever smth reminds me of him, it feels really diff each time.
seems like everyth's fading bit by bit. imagining him w' someone else helped me forget.

yeah yeah yeah, move on move on move on. indeed i shall.
i shall start w' forgetting th ppl tht forgot abt me.
instead of brooding &waiting for th storm to past, i'l dance in th rain &jst be happy.
cos i wnt be arnd anymore. u left me. im nt gona stay &wait &make a fool out of myself while yr having yr fun. u cant get th best of both worlds.
yes, u didnt ask me to wait. im nt saying u did bt im choosing nt to wait any longer.
since actions speaks louder thn words, u painted me a really beautiful picture &if i may be so bold as to say... u made yr choice. &i respect tht.

i knw u guys arent happy. tht im th craazy ex who cant let go. u guys keep pushing me to let go, move on, face reality. i am, i will &i did, bt still am doing.
jst stop stop stop posting those kinda stuff cos its annoying &th day u are in my position, would be th day i say th same thing bk to u.

so i had my chinese oral today. cross my fingers tht i'l score!

p/s: you used to hold my world.

p/s: goodbye

2010-07-13T22:38:00.003+08:00

"Why cha have to make things so complicated?" AL

im looking forward to Friday &Saturday:D
th taste of satisfaction.
new pictures are uploaded like almost every weekend. its like a routine.
this weekend, im planning to watch a movie. actually, no. i wana watch as many movies as i can! someone bring me out pls? haha. sound desperate huh.
nahh, i jst want company :D

im on th verge of jst leaving. as in leaving home.
i thought moving to Town would be a better start for me. things did look better for me at first.
bt nw Queen B's being like an Ice Queen.
okay, the gg out pat i understand bt when im asked to go home early. like too early, hohohoho. tht's where i draw th line.
th word "grounded" isnt in my dictionary! how long do u think u guys can threaten me for?
even so, i think its unfair. its unreasonable. &i hate it.

♥ohmygosh. have u seen his new replacement of me? she looks like a doll! "awwwwwww." jyeah right! she looks jst like chucky :D

p/s: goodbye

p/s: cos im a hot topic :D

2010-07-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

im guessing everyone's found out abt wht happened last week!
well almost everyone.

its nt a rumour. i did get hit in th face fr dating a guy whose ex's still craazy in love w' him, even thou it was ages ago D:
okay fine nt really ages bt quite awhile bk.

whts worst! some hoe's like spreading rumours abt me. thinking im together w' Him when im nt.
this is so so so straight tht this calls for confrontation :D this friday.

so ppl, get this straight, im SINGLE. LADIES, if you've gt a problem w' me, tell me straight.
if you want him, tell me as well, i'l back off cos i dnt want any problems aitee!
im nt gona fight over a man. unless im really in love w' him thn hell yeah, till my last breath :D

dnt blame me if th guys keeps cmg bk :DD haha. scold em, nt me.

&finally.... hey, i hope he recovers soon. i'l pray for him.
dnt worry too much aiteeee ♥

p/s: cos im a hot topic :D

p/s: i live to love myself.

2010-07-11T18:45:00.003+08:00

for th fking last time, stop telling me abt him. im sick of it.
i've given up all fking hope.
im not going to wait for you. im not gona be one of yr options.
do w'ver you wana do♥ im GONE.

this i gonna be a super short post.
i swear im really tired D: gg to eat, study awhile thn i'l prolly head to bed. gota get my beauty sleep!

p/s: i live to love myself.

p/s: cut it out.

2010-07-07T17:21:00.003+08:00

i've decided to discipline myself &allow myself only to go out once or maximum twice a week.
its th only way im gonna achieve the course i am longing for. thaanks to my foolishness, i cant apply for DPA. i mean, i can bt it'l be a total waste of time. for one, i know i wont be selected.
writing thousands of worse to apply for a course would be gg down the drain.

Mrs Tan's gg to help me schedule a timetable. its up to me to push myself D:
i feel like time is running out. im amazed that i actually developed a sense of urgency! at least its a start!

its nt that i havent been blogging for th past couple of days.
i did bt i jst didnt post it, all saved as draft &i doubt im ever gona post it.
thou, i will continue blogging, jst nt as often.

th other day at SupperClub was great. i had a splendid time.
pictures are all in facebook.
Nick came alng, my only girlf there was Ruby. finally met Adelina &Faizal. felt like ages since i've last saw em.
afta the club, Ruby &i had a really really long talk.
we talked all misunderstandings out. all the past bullshit. i miss her so much D:

im having cramps all over my body! thaanks to all the climbing up &down, running up &down, no idea how many flights of stairs.
i started participating in PE agn. bt we took our heigh, weight , BMI thingy today.
apparently i lost weight agn! i started eating alot bt i still lost weight. 45KG.
to be honest, im happy :D hahaha. want my boobs to grow thou. so i gota eat more. HAHA. joke.

sorry bt i really have had enough w' the drama. i dont need a two headed snake as a friend. i dnt need more quarrels or misunderstandings or miscommunication.
cos its bullshit &i dnt wana be fked by it.
if anyth happens, i'l jst leave w/o a word. its annoying, really.
why is it that diff for u to understand?? its my life &for th love of god, stay the fk outta my life &live yrs.
dnt tell me that my life is messed up bcos u arent any better yrself.
im nt gg to assume anyth or listen to w'ver others say. yes, i'l take my girlfs &friends words into consideration bt if i find out anyth on my mind. thats it.

Elmo once said, “Me love me blanky in the whole world. Me sad if me blanky would go away. But if you lose your blanky, me give up my blanky for you cause that’s how much me loves you.”

p/s: cut it out.

p/s: no happily never after.

2010-06-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

i inhaled air i've never breathed before. the air of drama, no more.

i went for class earlier. learned new ways of speaking, &the background of english, etc etc.
suppose to meet Sab at clementi but plans changed cos she was w' her boyf:D
&yeah, congrats to her. i feel really happy that she's finally settling down! haha.
so is Tracy Baaby:D
ohmygosh, u guys better treat em well. dont be another one of those jerks!

my girlfs may have all settled down but i know im not alone :D

im not gona go back to my old ways &start being all bitchy &everything w' the girl's dating.
you have my word for sure. yes, talk abt me, laugh abt me, mock me.
i admit i deserved everything.
Karma does happen. w'ver goes arnd, comes arnd.
i promise i'l be good from now on. cos i finally realised how hurtful it is.
no more capitalising anyone. believe me, the time will come & Karma will come ceaselessly.

J, i dont need a new, real bestf. i've got everyone i alrd need.
i just didnt notice em cos all my attention was on you.
the break up may be considered a blessing in disguise. u &i met so many new wonderful people.
&i dont need a man to make me feel complete.

afta almost 3 full weeks of manifesting signs of depression, im feeling so much more happier.

i'm going to school tmr. instead of wasting time, doing nothing at home.
i've come to my senses. Fauzan's really teaching to be more mature. HAHAH :D

anws, Sham was actually mad at me all this while.
&finally, after a year, he has finally forgiven me! hahah. at least im on good terms w' all the past significant few except for two.
he feels for me:D at least he aint as mean i how i was to him! aitee. sorry anws.
its time i apologise to em as well. its not gona make up for anyth bt at least, they'l know that i am dreadfully sorry for my wrong doings &i know how they feel.

a whole new world!

p/s: no happily never after.

♥p/s: i hate how the only guy who makes me happy is the guy who makes me cry.

2010-06-28T12:05:00.003+08:00

today's the 28 as in TWENTYEIGHT &for the first time in 11 months, we arent meeting.
ohh well.

i've been hearing so much even thou its just been a month since we've parted.
bt im at a point where i draw the line &say enough is enough.
if i dont let go, dont grow up &dont be more mature abt all this, i'm jst gona spend the next few years suffering &feeling miserable.
not gona let that happen.

you know how i've always said i'm letting go &im trying.
i think its bcos i wasnt trying hard enough.
this time's diff i went to an extend of doing things i nvr thought i did.
he can go clubbing w' girls &dancing &snapping photos &doing w'ver he wants.
im not gona let it bother me anymore

ppl pls. if you hear or see him or w'ver, pls. i rather not know.
for one, it hurts. secondly, listening &mourning over it is not gona do me any good.
he is happy this way, w' all the diff girls he wants &stuff, i dont see why i shdnt be just as happy. in fact, even more happy!

guys, im sorry abt the way i was ystd.
i really wasnt in the mood to talk to anyone &agn, forgive me.
i jst needed to be alone for awhile. hope u guys understand. x

i went jogging ystd at Botani Gardens:D
relieved myself, unwind a lil bit &tone down my body.
im like on a diet. i cant eat rice this whole week &fast food. i have completely no idea how im gona resist all the food! haha.
fab body? gota sacrifice :D its worth it anws.

so ystd Fauzan came to find me. today he picked me up from school cos i ended early.
he drove all the way to west coast from TP than together w' his friends, ate at the prata shop.
&yeah, it was sweet of him. but reached home, saw his facebook wall.... heh. speechless. its like a huge turn off.

having english "training" in the evening at BukitTimah.
prolly catching up w' Dom first.

totally psyched abt Friday:D
a small photosession w' the Lady♥ies! photographed by Fadzli. - first guy ever to photograph me.
afta which, gg to Zouk. i think.
the next day, gg Universal Studio w' Sissie, Nick, Ali, etc etc.
the week afta, gg to Universal Studio agn. haha. w' Sab &the rest:D
from what others say, it wasnt worth 60 bucks. oh well.

blogging agn tonight!

♥p/s: i hate how the only guy who makes me happy is the guy who makes me cry.

p/s: just like that, im back to square one. trying to get back on my feet.

2010-06-27T02:29:00.003+08:00

♥ two people making love is a way to show how much they love the other. you can only love one person, yr action showed that you dont love me anymore.

i was wrong.
&it seems like i dont you anymore.
my heart's in pieces. &i'l be frank, i'm suffering.
its hard pretending like it doesnt affect me.

true or not, be it a simple kiss, a french kiss, its unbearable.

p/s: just like that, im back to square one. trying to get back on my feet.

p/s: i hate how much i love you boy.

2010-06-22T16:43:00.003+08:00

everything seems to be lies, lies &even more lies.
yr right. dont expect anyth &i wont be disappointed.
but i cant help feeling disappointed over you.
everyone's getting sick of me talking about you. be it good or bad. either way, i still talk about you.

i hate that i still think about you. bcos im not the one you are thinking of.
yeah yeah, its not my fault. its not me, its you.
yes indeed. it is you. goooosh!

there's no point holding on, its pointless waiting.
you dont seem to need me anymore either.
you tell me some thing. you tell others another.
don't manipulate me &don't treat me like a fool.
yr actions are so contradicting.

p/s: i hate how much i love you boy.

p/s: it's done. over.

2010-06-20T22:44:00.003+08:00

Trust, Honesty, Respect.

thaanks for the great weekend!
pictures are in facebook.

im not blogging much tonight cos there's school tmr D:
sleeping early tonight.
planning to isolate myself:D live in solitude.
there's no use feeling jealous, or wishing i could do something abt it cos its pointless. there's no use getting angry at myself anymore.

i dont see why i should bother about it anymore.
there's no reason for me to hang arnd either. you're happy.

oh fuck. the 28 is coming D:
since there's no more you, there's no more anniversary.

p/s: it's done. over.

p/s: its my girlfriend, Sabrina

2010-06-19T13:27:00.003+08:00

relatives are finally in Singapore.
i missed Zouk D: &im gona miss all the clubbing events till O's are over.
made a promise to Sabrina &im gona cross my fingers &pray that i keep that promise.

So ystd Sab &i went shopping!
Rubi, Topshop, Forever 21! most prolly heading to Bugis later to grab a few more items &than im gona be broke agn.
she accompanied me back to Jones, so i met up w' em &they were crapping all the way.
Alif's bdae's next week :D in other words, i've got a party to attend to.

i've been meeting Sabrina for the past couple of days. we did nothing but shop, talk, scout arnd, talk some more.
the other day was Marina, ystday was town &today's gona be bugis &than town agn.

p/s: its my girlfriend, Sabrina.

p/s: be a man. would you?

2010-06-16T02:39:00.003+08:00

guys, do us ladies a favour. wait. instead, do yourselves a favour! please toughen up &be a man.
for heaven sake's, put aside your ego &pride.

say things, only if you mean it.
promises are meant to be broken.
promises are nothing more than lies w' ribbons tied around it.

don't bother saying sorry if you don't mean it.
don't bother apologising if you know you are going to do it again.
because, whenever you apologise to someone, you are indirectly saying that you wont do it again.
if you end up repeating your mistakes, time &again, regardless of how many times you apologise, it would not mean anything anymore.

admit if you are at fault.
you may lie to me, but don't lie to yourself.
don't bother cooking up a story to cover your lies.

im not willing to go through anymore of such.
enough putting up with their bullshit, tolerating the nonsense.
one problems come after another.
im not going to fall for it again.
it hurts.

when you feel like your world is crush and you are all alone, even something that u fancy the most, cant cheer you up.
i feel a sudden urge to go to Bali. where everything seems to be peaceful, calm.
was talking to AJ about it on the phone earlier.

p/s: be a man. would you?

p/s: i feel like sleeping for a really really long time &hoping nvr to wake up. im tired w' all the bullshit.

2010-06-15T12:42:00.004+08:00

before i even open my eyes, as i still laid in bed, the first thought that came to my mind was :" fuuck. today's gona be miserable."
i wish i could jst sleep. sleep for a really really long time, &everything happening arnd me wouldnt be significant. nothing would matter. i hope nvr too wake up.
if only thaat was possible! i wouldnt have to go thru anymore bullshit.
IM SICK OF PLAYING GAMES, im tired of all the craap i have to go thru, pretend like im okaay when i see something or hear something that i dislike.
i dont wana fake my smile, i dont wana change the topic everytime we talk abt someone or something.

so im not gg Clubbing w' Tracy tmr. instead, Izwan's gg w' me. still unsure.
Tracy's gt her ex's party to attend to.
bt im meeting Sab tmr! yeah me.

w'ver. im gona eat.

p/s: i feel like sleeping for a really really long time &hoping nvr to wake up. im tired w' all the bullshit.

p/s: start of something new.

2010-06-15T01:36:00.003+08:00

anything can happen, if the love's worth fighting for.

i watched Prince of Persia todayy. maan! it was a fking good movie:D really enjoyed the show!
so i reached home slightly afta 12, &had dinner w' Mummy &Michael at Thai Xpress in Paragon before heading to Marina.
i dressed up today, like how i did months ago.
its been so long since i've felt confident agn. &the feeling was incredible.
feel like having a movie marathon:D bt i wana watch shows like Sex in the city, Gossip Girls, Desperate housewives, Prison Break, 90210 :DD w' nthg bt Ben &Jerry's ice cream. HAHA.

tonight was wonderful, it was a blast. thaanks for making my day:D

ohh, i decided nt to club tonight. i intended to bt nahh. wasnt really in the mood. so most prolly i'm clubbing on Wednesday together w' Tracy &Hopefully Ruby &Sab. if they are free.
so lady♥ies, if yr reading this, text me yeah!

exams are jst next week. mid-year exam, &i havent really touched my books yet D:
i gota study this weekend. like intensive studying. dont really have much of a choice.
i've decided to start working right afta my Os. earn some cash, save some of the money thaan i can like, enjoy enjoy enjoy.
so many things plan bt i wont be surprised if i end up nt getting anyth done. typical me.

Tracy's like super cutee.
she's decided to give me random calls every night:D sweetness huh! jst to check up on me.
iloveyou Baaby. very very much! i do feel blessed having such a wonderful girlf. heh.

ooookay. mood's ruined.
im fed up. really, im upset. PMS? nahh, i doubt it. PMS isnt a good reason.
fuuuuck. im more annoyed rather.

p/s: the start of something new.

:D

2010-06-14T12:54:00.002+08:00

PMS :D dont mind me being a bitch today!

so i met Kidd Kidhir last night. he danced &sang for me. &honestly, it was awesome.
we talked abt alota alota alota stuff. jst like me, he too got out of a bad r/s &he is trying to movee on.

anws, im heading to the west today :D
its been so so lng since ive gone there. kinda miss the ppl there.

Azzura was fucked up. as in, it could have been better bt it was fuucked up.
everything was screwed up. went home at like 7 than went for new paper new face &ended up pulling out of it for another competition.

gota balance my diet, tone down my body. get involve in sports &stuff.
cant wait til O's are over. gona concentrate on building a small portion of my career.
esp since i enjoy looking Fab &Glam all the time, work would def be fun :D haha!

i've been better over the past few days.
havent been thinking so much abt him. had a heart to heart talk when i was at Azzura the other day. not exactly heart to heart bt we kinda straighten things out &he says he still wants to be in contact w' me.
which damn right is a pretty good thing. best part, he still loves me.
i feel him. cos getting over someone which played a significant role in yr life for 9months is incredibly hard to forget.
esp when u pass by this place which holds so many memories, everything seems to haunt u agn. all the unforgettable times, be it good or bad.
it was diff at first bt ever since, i've tried to focus on other stuff.
&now, i think, its time to foucs more on my studies. get it over w' than i'l start expanding my social network.
socialise &stuff :D

Gona meet Munchkin for awhile &Fit.

p/s: iloveyou jst the way u are.

Tonight's Moonlight.

2010-06-13T01:35:00.002+08:00

you can try, to resist, try to hide from my kiss.
but you know, that i know, that u cant, cant fight it.
its gona get to yr heart.

cos deep in the dark, you will surrender you heart,
but you know, that i know, that u cant fight it,
its gona get to yr heart.

underneath the starlight starlight,
there's a magical feeling so right.
&u will feel it steal yr heart.

there's no escape from love.
once a gentle breeze, weave's its spell upon your heart.

p/s: cant fight the moonlight.

no limits.

2010-06-11T13:07:00.000+08:00

i went out w' Fauzan 2 days ago, to Bugis.
we ate late lunch there, &than helped him choose his shirt for Azzura! man! he's def gona look smokin!
&afta, we wandered arnd cityhall.

met TracyBaby afta thaat. we accompanied her for awhile.
than, met Nick, Ali &Hardee at cine.
thou i've broken up w' J, Ali says he still treats me like a sister &im glad he does.
so we ended up chatting until someone spilled the beans.

it was only a matter of time till i figured out what actually happened.
J &the girl, Angelina Mksy (that's her profile name on facebook ), apparently are in the same tuition class together.
that was how everything started.
heard quite alot &yeah. i did the math, started fixing pieces of puzzles together. it was rubbing salt in an open wound.
& BOOOOOOOMMMM! truth was out. it seemed really clear to me.
i cried.
Nick &Fauzan was trying to cheer me up the whole way back.

but im not gona be that girl, the girl i use to be, wasting my time ruining her life.
talking to her friends, embarrassing her &etc etc.
i've been thru that. i'l be the one there, watching &laughing when Karma hits her back. she will go thru twice the pain. twice the misery.
bt it isnt entirely her fault. its J's too. &Karma would hit him too.
jst a matter of time.

so much for my happy ending :D

hardly slept, cos we were up watching Lil Rascals &singing while Fauzan played the guitar.
thaanks for being there love. i really am glad u were there to comfort me.
i was so annoyed. so upset &so angry. it was more to anger than sadness.

Angelina Mksy! Man! she's a hoe!

Fauzan's right thou. its over. i gota get over it. for there's nthg more i can do.
&agn i'l tell ya im trying &it aint easy. my hands are tied &my hurt aches terribly.

tonight's a Lil treat for me. 25 bucks worth the ticket, im'a put it to full use.
drinking before i go in.
&i'l dance my heart out w' whoever's up for it.

than rush off, prolly home before 3? idknow. or mayb jst spend the night there &i'l catch a cab in the mrng to toa payoh.
so i've got everything more or less planned out:D

no limits!

p/s: the party dont start till i walk in!

Love was all that i could give to you

2010-06-09T13:14:00.002+08:00

A heartbreak is one of the most unusual kinds of pain.
there are no physical injuries that you can attribute it to. No visible scars, no panacea that can be procured to heal it.
it’s a huge emotional and mental pain that can be quite debilitating and triggers other emotions in us.
kike most things that are important, it takes time.

i think Time does heal, well it heals most wounds. But recognise that it is a process, partly that is within your control and the rest is up to chance and circumstances.

i was talking to Khai last night on Facebook's Chat.
yes, the entire conversation was obviously abt J.
im nt at fault. everyone says so. bt even still, i dont deserve to be treated like thaat. the pain is excrutiating.
it hurts even more than someone plunging a knife into my heart. i dont knw how that feels bt compared to my broken heart, its far more painful.

there's no seconds to loose. time seems to be so precious now.
i'l have my fun. i'l do what i want.
i hope one day, i'l all look back &laugh at this.

A major shopping spree would do me good today!
okaay, mayb jst 3 dresses pls! &a few accessories &shoes. hahhahhaa.

im creating a Bucket List! &fuuck. its gona be craazy, i promise!

p/s: What did Samuel Butler say? “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never lost at all.”

my heart is fried.

2010-06-09T01:54:00.004+08:00

Have u met my newly wedded "husband" ??
she is TRACY ADRIANA LOH.
i love her very very much.

ever since the break up, it has been the lady♥ies almost all the time.
i must say that it has actually benefited me.
due to the massive free time i have now, i stopped skipping tuition. including school tutorials.
i managed to catch up w' my friends. i apologise to everyone who i neglected in the past.

"everything happens for a reason. " yes, i agree.
i havent got a clue what the future holds. bt im not gona think too much abt it cos it did me nthg bt harm.
since there's a fity-fity possibility of J &i getting bk, im not going to have high hopes. anyth can happen.
things alrd are happening.

almost everywhere i go, i hear stories abt him. true or not, im not sure.
whoever i meet, whether its a new found friend or a childhood friend, J would be mentioned in the conversation.
its miserable. mostly, they talk abt things that i wish i would never hear.

its good that he has taken a huge step. he is dating a chinese girl. im happy for him. okay. it's a lie.
im trying.

i wana start anew.

FaisFauzan, thaank u for tolerating my bullshit &all the unnecessary drama.
i am more than just grateful.
&the Lady♥ies, i love you girls so much &im happy that you are all by my side. thaank u girls for everything.

looking forward to the coming Thursday.
going for branch @Dempsey. shopping afta! so far, only Sab is free. hopefully so would Tracy &Ruby.

p/s: its my turn, to make the next move.

the biggest step, is moving on.

2010-06-08T14:32:00.003+08:00

bcos only pictures gives me a reason to smile.
im moving on. im trying, i swear i am &its not easy.
but thaanks to my lady♥ies, Syafiq&gang, Fauzan, myBaabes, my friends, i feel better.
im trying to make the best out of everything.

oh, did i mentioned? i got into Newpaper Newface. together w' one of the Lady♥ies, Sab.
it was quite fun &we spent the entire day walking arnd in heels. bt even then, its not as painful as the way u walked away from me like that.
fuuuck.

i promise myself i'l have fun &start looking at things in a diff angle.
the old me is back bt in a good way. im trying to stand back up on my feeet.

p/s: love's worth fighting for.

torn into pieces.

2010-06-04T22:44:00.002+08:00

it was wrong of me to log in w/o yr permission. i wont do it ever agn.
bt there's no more next time. it was heartbreaking to see it. i fixed all the pieces together &it sorta make sense. afta linking everything, i found out.
u lost interest bcos u got attracted to other girls. u hardly texted me bcos u had other ppl to talk to.
u lost interest cos it was fun that u wanted. u wanted to be a player.
u wanted to be able to get girls to fall for u agn. to have fun getting to know em &stuff.
i was too bloody gullible &naive. too late, too bad for me.

iloveyou. i still think, if its meant to be, its meant to be.
i dont hold any grudges. bcos there's no point. i love u, for u being u, for who u are. &im in love w' the person &including the devil inside.

i accept my punishment. what yr doing to me, was what i did to others before.
the feeling sucks. &its shatters my heart. bt obviously u wont know how i feel now. cos right now, u're heartless. &agn, it aint yr fault.

iloveyou B.

i lost everything.

2010-06-04T09:17:00.000+08:00

someone, pls help me D:
i cant hold back my tears any longer.
someone, pls help me D:
im gona break down anytime.
someone, pls help me D:
i cant pretend that im strong.
someone, pls help me D:
im abt to loose my mind.
someone, pls help me D:
i feel miserable.
someone, pls help me D:
i dont wana carry on like this.
someone, pls help me D:
i'm suffering.
someone, pls help me D:
my heart is aching, its hurting.
someone, pls help me D:
the pain is unbearable.
someone, pls help me D:
i dont know how much longer i can hang on.
someone, pls help me D:
dont leave me alonee.
someone, pls help me D:
give me strength. to be stronger, like him.
someone, pls help me D:
im crying like i nvr cried before.

♥ pls save me. im screwing everything up.

im single.

2010-06-03T19:30:00.002+08:00

okay. it's over.

J &i are officially over. &im hurting really badly. i'm trying to hide everything &pretend that im stronger than this. pretend that im okay.
bt i cant do anyth. it's all too late.

i'm gona agree w' what he said.
we're letting each other go. if we're meant to be, one day, we'l be back together?
not gona hope on anyth.
for the mean time, im gona move on.

i wish him all the best. sincerely& from the bottom of my heart.

28thAugust2009-3rdJune2010. 9months &6days.
3june, the day everything fell apart.

p/s: it feels... diff?

i think, one of the last few posts abt J.

2010-06-03T13:03:00.005+08:00

i only reached home at 6.30 this morning.
went to Botanic Gardens& sorta spent the whole night there.

anws, idknow when may be the next time im gona blog abt J.
most prolly the next one would be describing how much i hate him?
hopefully not.

its saddening to know that the 9 months we've been together, jst like that's gg down the drain.
the first 3 month's one of the biggest mistake.
i shdnt have treated you that way. Karma's a huge bitch.
im getting everything back in return. bt, it hurts 20 times more, it pains me 30 times more, it saddens me 40 times more.
i dont blame you.
i overestimated you.
i thought if i put in so much love, put in more faith &hope like u use to tell me, sacrifice my time &stuff, i could gain bk yr love.
things jst doesnt work out that way.

last night, someone told me, if the person's love for the other, has faded away, it has faded. u cant do anyth abt it. only the person himself can.
im not gona say that w'ver i did for you, was wasted. it wasnt. i showed u how much i love you. in fact, it was really worth it.
bcos by now, i think u shd know, how strong my feelings towards you have grown. i loveyou so much more than last time. so much more than 1 month ago.

i cant force you to love me, i cant for you to be interested in me agn.
i cant make u do things u dwana do. i cant push u to make an effort.
im nt gona make u do things u dont wana do.
i've lost you alrd.
i've gt no idea,of finding you bk.

for w'ver i've done wrong to u in the past, im sorry.
i misjudged u& didnt hear u out.
i faulted u one time too many that u gave up.
i know i've gota change &stuff.
i've got to be much more understanding.
i've got to be much more patient.
i've got to learn how to trust u more.
bt i did &honestly, i tried. thou, i feel like u kinda took advantage of everything.

irregardless.

iloveyou Baabeyboo.

p/s: im still not over you.

already JUNE!

2010-06-01T14:20:00.002+08:00

half the year has gone D: its scary how time passed incredibly fast huh!
in no time, O levels is gona be over. &i'l finally have a taste of freedom.

i self-declared last Wednesday to be the starting of June hols.
&today, it feels like i havent been to school for so long.
not going to school somehow makes me feel a lil, dumb. Hahahaa.

so i reached home at 3am &woke up at 9? its amazing how im able to drag myself out of bed, to the shower &feel fresh throughout the day.
bt didnt get a good night's rest thanks to the fever.

w'ver i have been through the last couple of weeks, has gotten me all tired out.
i'm tired, restless, exhausted ¬ as strong as before. it was a meaningful lesson learned. ever since then, J &i didnt really quarrel.
idknow whether he thinks i've changed, or anyth, bt i dont feel quite like last time.
if i may be bold enough, i think i've become more easy-going. in some way or another, it's a good thing for J.

im gona grab a quick lunch &will be blogging agn tonight.

p/s: thaanks for last night. i had a wonderful time.

2010-05-27T11:41:00.000+08:00

i've got no mood to blog much.
i've got no mood to say anythg.

met up w' Clementians for awhile.
Shakilah came to meet me, so did Isk. Fazli came, met Afiq for awhile.

oh, MYRA! I NEED MY IC=/ haha. forgot to remind u to return it.
anyone who knws Myra, &sees this. remind her pls!

i stayed at Clementi till 3am.
had problems gg hme. apparently, i missed the last bus.
took a cab home instead. midnight charge plus the normal fare. came up to abt 13 bucks.
&i only had 5 bucks w' me. HAHAH. it was a joke!
bt i was so so so super duper tired. i wanted to go home to sleep. so, i didnt really have a choice.

LASTLY.
to Fazli :" thaanks so much for listening to my nonsense. thaanks so much for being there for me when i needed someone to pour my troubles to. thaanks so much for comforting me. thaanks so much for everything."
i really appreciate &am grateful.

p/s: im not gona let the demon inside u, win the fight.

he is my man!

2010-05-23T21:43:00.005+08:00

PEOPLE! CHILL :D
the person that tagged my board is a friend k.

anws, im really tired so im gona cut this short yea.

the past weekend was splendid.
played pool w' BaabeyBoo. bcos he respected me, he let me win him twice :D
w' the help of Daniel, Boo calls him Gangster Tan. haha. anws, celebrated Hazly's bdae as well. at Maccafe:D

i managed to meet up w' one of the Lady♥ies, S. she came to find me. sweet huh!
Kristin was w' me as well:D its been a lng time since i've met her!!

oh. thaanks to SOMEBODY, haha, i slept really late, 4.30am. worst part, i had to wake up at 8am for tuition.
no worries Lovee, not entirely yr fault:D

call me jealous, idreally care bt i fking hate it when a girl gets all flirty arnd my boyf.
my definition of Flirty :
1. smiles at him every 5mins.
2. tries so hard to get his attention.
3. seizes every opportunity whenever im nt arnd to try to talk to get closer to him.
4. gives him a flirty yet slutty look!
5. ignores the fact that he has a girlf.

if u have done any of the above, prepare u fking slut! u shd be feeling guilty nw.
go to hell:D
take this as a warning. i'ma fking bring u down.

FKING SLUTS, GET YR OWN MAN! HE'S MINE &IM NT WILLING TO SHAREE. i wont ever.
the sentence:" if he loves u so much, no girl can ever snatch him away."
i know, i've used that many times to others.
bt look, no girl will enjoy her boyf being someone else's eye candy!
LISTEN aitee.
he is mine... deal w' it! get a life &fk off from our lives. dont ruin our r/s.
dont try to. dont even tempt to bcos u will be wasting yr time, totally!

those girls can screw themselves up down left right. stay away from him. i promise, i swear. i'l turn fking nasty. switched on to BITCH MODE. YR WORST NIGHTMARE.

i cant help it Boo, iloveyou so.
loosing u is the last thing i'd ever want.

p/s: dont be mad cos i get jealous easily. be happy bcos i care &iloveyou so much, thats why i get jealous.

i know you want me! you know i want cha!!

2010-05-19T21:13:00.002+08:00

Pitbull concert w' Baabeyboo!!
i had hell lotsa fun.

at first J was kinda afraid that we wouldn't have fun cos there was only 2 of us, but itend... HAHAHA. he &i had a BLAAAAST!
ohmygosh. we were dancing like crazy :D tee-hee. singing to almost every song we knew &stuff!
it was one of the special moments we share &its def unforgettable!
ILOVEYOU SO SO MUCH BAABEYBOO!
&im glad u had fun!!

p/s: gona sleep now:D still really tired.

today's plan.

2010-05-18T10:12:00.002+08:00

simply overjoyed that there's no school today!!
i have so so many errands to run:D
thank god one of the Lady♥ies is free to accompany me later on!

managed to plan everything out alrd:D
abt 12, i'l be meeting Sabrina at Wisma's starbucks.
gona send Qal off to work, than she &i are gona head to PlazaSing! have things to do there.
so anws, afta that, accompany her, accompany him during her break:D
than i gota go to paya lebar, to pick J up from school! cute uh he. haha.
heading home afta which, let him sleep for awhile than gg to the Pitbull concert.

i changed all my tuition timings. so today, nthg's gona screw my day up!
dnt ask me why, bt i feel so fking xcited. xcited abt 2 things actually.
1- meeting J.
2- get to spend time w' him! haha.
call me crazy bt i really am crazy over him! cant be helped.
he is jst so so addictive.

bringing Michael's camera later on. gona snap some shots! haha.

oh ystd, went to Cine afta english class.
Accompanied Martian to get his hair cut. together w' his friend. friendly friendly friendly:D
his hair still has the fringe, bt the sides has been shaved off &they trimmed off the top part.
out of matrep, ahbeng &gay. he looks more gay. haha. bt in a good way:D
so i hanged arnd w' em awhile mre than he dropped me hme.

no worries, i'l def be taking photos later on:D haha.

p/s: Baabey, i wana spend my life w' u.

Jay's my drug:D

2010-05-17T15:44:00.003+08:00

everything's starting to fall into place.
im so relieved. im so happy:D
Baabeyboo, iloveyou so much &dont ever go away aitee.

u know how the past weekend's been like shit &everything.
way way way too much drama.
but im glad we came thru it:D &all that bullshit's over. finally!!!
im praying nthg like that happens ever agn.

everything's gona turn out finee. we'l make it thru aitee.
our love is stronger than all this. im sure of thaat.

iloveyou so so much.
&i simply cant wait to see u tmr! picking J up from school!

we may argue over minor things. im tired &hurt &exhausted of trying to please u so often, that ends up hurting me even more.
bt iloveyou. my love for u overpowers it all. im softhearted. &im sticking to u.
i cant possibly wait arnd &do nthg.
i wana be the woman behind this successful man, providing him w' nthg bt love &support.
im more than jst proud of him for nt giving up on this r/s which almost ended last night. u made me smile.
also, im really grateful to all the sacrifices u've made.

Baabeyboo, open up to me, i'l be there to help u w' everything &improve w'ver yr character lacks of.
seeing the will u posess to change makes me believe in us even more.

i may no lnger be the one u wana marry. the feeling u use to have, has faded away.
bt i really do hope that one day, that feeling will start growing agn.
cos the reason for the faded feeling is due to our quarrelsome nature &all the unecessary arguments. In which, together, we will slowly grow out of.

cos i know for sure. that its u, whom i wana be w' forever.

p/s: i'l be there for u, every step of the way.

my man& mylady♥ies

2010-05-16T12:52:00.005+08:00

BRIGHT, HOT, SUNNY SUNDAY D:
pls tell me its gona rain tmr! (if im gg to school) pls pls pls.
rain tmr bt not on Tuesday.

J&i have collected the Pitbull tickets alrd. &im super duper psyched.
no school on Tuesday cos its marking day or smthg. lucky me huh.
so most prolly gona pick J up from school, let him go hme &change than... prepare for the concert.

2days ago, i did the worst thing i could ever do to myself. &im regretting.
my past wrong doings resulted in the state J&i are in today.
if i could, i'd rewind it &correct all my mistakes.
im sorry Baabeyboo. for w'ver i did. i know i messed everything up &i shdnt be blaming u.
i did whaat i did cos i was depressed. i wont do it anymore. i promise.

i met up w' the lady♥ies on friday &saturday.
they were there to comfort me, which Sabrina &i really needed.
so, thanks sweethearts.

they drank... as per usual. i did too. even thou i said i've totally stopped, i drink only once in awhile.
its not like i became drunk &couldnt control right? no harm done.
jst corona:D

Baabeyboo, im sorry abt last night as well.
hopefully everything turns out okaayy.

p/s: yr all i need.

straightening things out.

2010-05-14T12:09:00.000+08:00

i've decided to get things straightened out.
after all, he's promised me before that he will change. sooner or later.
&sweets, i promise i'l help u w' that.

we've come this far. we went thru alota shit.
this isnt anyth compared to what we've been thru.

its not like he was being unfaithful. that's what's impt.
i refuse to give up nw. i know im fickle minded. bt so whaat? i wana be strong.
even if everything goes wrong.
our love is stronger than this.
&soon enough, Baabeyboo, u'l realise &wake up from everything.
i love him, he loves me.
together, we'l face everything.
nothing &no one's gona come between us. we'l go thru every obstacle together.
i'l be by yr side.

idwana loose him agn.
far too precious to do so.

if Karma's gona be a bitch. i'l be a bigger Bitch. &i'l live up to my name!
if fate wants to decide &screw everything up. i'l overpower it.
if jealousy wants to come between us or any other person. i'l fuck that person inside out.
if love wants to fool arnd w' us &gives us bullshit. i'l show em whose boss.

p/s:staying strong.

am i yr girlf?

2010-05-14T10:07:00.002+08:00

i only get to meet him at 6pm. knowing him, he will go off only afta 6 plus &reach abt 7.
he would have to go abt 11 cos he has to be home by 1.
first 2hrs prolly be talking abt whaats gona happen, the next 2 hrs will be great &than before i know it, he has to go home.

to me, 2hrs of quality time..? is simply nt enough.
yes, at least i get to meet him bt, why cant he put in as much effort to play soccer w' his friends afta school, &to meet me?
5-7 hours of soccer.... spending time w' his friends when he sees them on weekdays.

things wasnt like that before.
slowly, all i've got left are memories &photographs of the past.
i feel like im loosing u.

i give up.
i give up asking why u are coming so late.
i give up asking whether u can go home a lil bit later.
i give up asking if u could spend more time w' me.
i give up asking u to show me that u care.
i give up asking myself, will he ever change bk to how he was.

im tired of listening to the same things....
u dknow if u can commit.
u are afraid... of what, idknow bcos i askd u the question &u didnt reply me.
u need to have more space.
u need some time alone.
u are tired.
u are only seventeen.
u worried that u may like other girls.
u getting the urge of wanting to chase someone knew.
u telling me this everytime we quarrel :"10 good against 1 bad, always wins"
&this: "w'ver im giving u, isnt it enough?"

iloveyou. i use to think that as long as yr happy, thats all that matters.
bt i cant do that anymore. i cant pretend everything is gona be alrt when its not.
i cant pretend to be okay whenever u tell me something that disappoints me.
even typing this saddens me bcos im trying. i've been trying for the past few months to make u happy.

im lost. idknow what to do.
all i want is for us to get better.
everything to turn out alrt.

i raised the topic hoping we can solve everything. clear my doubts &stuff.
i called u selfish last night cos u told me that u dont wana text or talk to me cos u dontwant me to talk abt it, u rather talk to me in person.
yes, bt that doesnt mean we cant text abt other things. ystd i hardly spoke to u.
the only time we spoke was when we quarreled.
it doesnt mean we cant talk abt other things, talk otphone or reply me 1-3 word msges.
i told u this &u ended up getting mad at me &still, nt talking to me. instead, u called me selfish.

i pray for only the best.
i didnt think we would ever end up like this.

p/s: broken hearted.

ransom letter.

2010-05-13T20:38:00.003+08:00

"u stole my heart &i wrote you a ransom letter."
demanding u treat me better."
which was a mistake i made. &im sorry abt whaat i said.
sorry i called u selfish.
sorry for everything.

bringing up the topic was the last thing i shd have donee.
bt i only talked abt it bcos i felt like i was left hanging, afraid that u may jst walk outa my life anytime.
u gota understand how i feel BaabeyBoo. im sorry.
im too afraid &i cant afford to loose u.

im worried, im paranoid &i shdnt let all that defeat me.
pls forgive me for whaat i did.

all i wanted was for u to love me, like how u did last time, when u didnt have the feeling of getting to knw other girls, the urge of chasing other girls.
u said u will be happy &it'l be fun. it hurts.

im nt gg to school tmr.
i gota unwind a lil tmr bt studying in the mrng first.
afta which, meet the ladies, shop a lil. &than, i gota face the music.
heartbroken? happy? idknow. im hoping for everything to turn out right.
for me &him to be on good terms agn.

i had a tiff w' him earlier. an argument actually.
brought my mood all the way dooowwwn D:

afta school, i met up w' Feruz. took back money$$$.
talked awhile. was kinda upset &he, being typical Feruz, tried to lift my spirits.
bt it didnt help.
J, dont give me the cold treatment cos of my misdeeds.
im feeling miserable, im suffering.

p/s: dont leave me like this.

BackUp plan.

2010-05-12T22:56:00.002+08:00

im exhausted!!!
J picked me up from school today, he brought me to watch Backup Plan.
♥u, thaanks BaabeyBoo.
oh, the show was fking gd:D storyline was great. &i lovee J.Lo's bod! ohmyfkgosh!

so i met up w' my girls afta that at the usual, MacCafe.
my lovely lady♥ies. Ruby, Sabrina &Tracy. i miss em to bits.
&we ended up chatting away, meeting em agn on Friday. wana wana wana SHOPPP:D
than.... Sab &i accepted a job offer from Tracy. well, it's some sort, like a recommendation. but 50-100 bucks is easy money. Besides, it isnt a tiring job!
when i get my pay... SHOPPING!!

today, 3fking periods of POA. ohmygosh, i almost died.
bcos the commerce room is so bloody stuffy &humid, i was perspiring.
at least we got to waste abt 1 period. getting lectured by MrKoh &helping MsSujeetha move the tables was more than worth it. haha.
its not that i hate MsSujeetha. she's really nice&stuff bt im jst nt interested in the subject.
look, i do regret nt studying &revising for POA. bt i cant cry over spilt milk.
thaat's why im concentrating on my other subjects.
for instance, im sacrificing my beauty sleep for Math Tuition, that's gona start at 8.30am in the mrng. &its all the way at Serangoon.
am i committed or whaat!

im gg school tmr:D &&&&...... ohfuuck! there's a test.
fkkkk. i jst rmbred! maaaan!!!!
tsk. im too fking tired to study it nw la. craap.
another test- flunk!

shiit, nw im in a bad mood.

p/s: absent minded muuch.

school girl.

2010-05-11T21:21:00.002+08:00

Back from tuition &im really fking exhausted.
im feeling sick. so so sick. i was dying in school D:

agn, didnt get to sleep well. no idea whats wrong w' me.
hopefully tonight i get more rest. oh yeah, Sissie went to Bali alrd:D BON VOYAGE! &HAVE FUN AITEE.
i get the queen size bed to myself. have i told u how much i love my bed? besides J's arms, my bed is another place i love to cuddle up in.
i feel warm &idknow, its like my comfort zone.

went hme straight afta school.
when to Clementi before tuition &it rained! tsktsktsk.
oh well, met up w' Fazli, Shakilah, Isk&Yana.

Munchkin didnt cme to school today D: sorta left me alonee.
bt i managed to talk to Honey more today thou.
speaking of Honey, sorry abt the picture, haha. lazy to crop u out la. unglam much, bt i still love u all the same:D xx.

okaay BaabeyBoo! pls pls pls reply me. imissyou so much!
im meeting J tmr aft school. gona watch back up plan! oh yesah!!! haha.
than, meeting Tracy &Sabrina. most prolly nt gg hme to change. too fking lazy. haha.

anws, to my childhood friend:u've gt both brains& looks. jumping to yr death bcos of a guy isnt worth it.
R.I.P

p/s:J's picking me up from school tmr:D xcited.

NEED TO SAVE MONEY

2010-05-10T20:22:00.003+08:00

im back from tuition everybody:
one and a half hour of english aint that bad.

omygosh! U KNW WHAAAT! THANK GOD DARLING SABRINA reminded me that i have to save money D: if nt im screwed. as in literally screwed.
saving money is really a difficult task.
looks like i have to postpone the shopping spree that i've been longing for for so loong D: ohh fuuck, just my luck.
mayb jst window shopping this friday? wont be much fun thou.

daaammn!

Queenb finally booked &confirmed the tickets to attend PitBull's concert.
xcited much!!!! ohmygosh. i cant wait! looks like i'l have to buy clothes agn D:
OH &someone pls pls pls, remind me to go to Sistic to collect my tickets!

im prolly gg to school this week, xcept for wednesday &friday?
i cant help it. POA lessons are too fking dry for me. i'l doze off &end up getting lectured. if nt, il be disturbing CookieMonz :D haaha. or mayb worst, i may die of boredom.
i would rather wear a curtain-ed dress than attend 2 hrs of POA.
now, do u see how much i hate POA?? fk. do u see how much misery im gg thru?
gossh!!!! smeone pls save me.
i totally give up on poa &i def do nt even have a insy tiny bit of interest in that subject.

u knw hw i've been nt skipping my meals &actually eating them?
yupp, i feel fat nw. seriously, i can feel my thighs getting bigger &my tummy's growing more fats. so it looks like... im gg bk on a diet:D

im so so pissed off &so nt happy abt me postponing the shopping trip.
1). i've alrd, sorta got a list of whaat i wana buy.
2). i've planned almost everything out, eg). asking a lil money from Queen b& dieting so that i can save even more money!
3). i alrd told J i wana go shopping!!

w'ver. im gona sleep early tonight. im feeling sick. love sick D:
imissu B.

p/s: $$$$$$

no one quite like you.

2010-05-10T15:13:00.004+08:00

Afternoooon:D

yes, im in a rather good mood today:D &i have no idea why!
but i didnt get a good night's rest. i kept waking up in the middle of the night &i felt sick.
slept early bt im still tired.

i woke up this mrng, nt realising i had to sit for both my language papers. HAHA.
somehow, i lost my entry proof &almost doze off while reading the passages.
the passage wasnt jst a bore, it was super long winded too.
both the english &chinese compre passage was nt a bit interesting. thankfully, i managed to finish the papers:D so, it wasnt so bad.

went home straight afta school. far too lazy to hang arnd &wait for time to past, cos the heat was unbearable. felt worst than Africa.
MEGA HOT MUCH! damn!!

anws, i started eating my proper meals agn. pressured by everyone to eat &eat &eat &eat. nt to say that i can resist the temptation of my maid's cooking either.
im gg for English class later =/ nthg much to look forward to. all the way bk to BukitTimah. starting in 2&a half more hrs.

J didnt go to school today. &he jst woke up nt too lng ago. thou i saw him ystd, im missing him alrd!
jst the other day, me, J, &Ali cabbed down to Hazly's house. i tagged alng to support the wanted rascals! (the team name... HAHAH)
they won second place:D nt bad eh!

anws, im gg shoppppppiiinnnggg this FRIDAY:D I WANT TO GO! NO I HAVE TO GO! NO NO NO! I MUST GO SHOPPING!
to be honest, i havent been shopppping for quite awhile. okay wait, thats a lie. bt i miss shopping. i miss the clothes. i miss dressing up! D:
all i am lacking of is $$$$. FUUCK!

18th May im so gg to PitBull's concert!
11thJune, almost everyone!'s gg to Wavehouse. fuuuck. its def gona be fking fun!

p/s: l o v e .

when somebody loves me, everything is beautiful

2010-05-09T20:21:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MUMMY'S DAY:D
thou i didnt get to celebrate it w' u', bt i promise that when i grow up &i've got lotsa money, i'l def pamper u &spoil u &buy all the Chanel bag's u desire!!
i'll always be there for u. U are gg thru a really hard time right nw,
being the sole bread winner of the family is hard, a sgl mum &an exhusband who is a jerk.
jst rest assure that i'l always be there to support u no matter whaat.
iloveyou Mummy.

will blog agn later.

p/s: you &me.

beautiful nightmare

2010-05-07T09:50:00.000+08:00

i took a day off from school.
woke up early as 7 &it alrd started off as a bad day.

is it me jst being paranoid? or am i simply jst taking things too seriously.
help me, someone please save me from all this.
i feel like everything's screwing up &im sitting for a major exam in jst a couple more months.

what's come over me? i'm clueless.
it seems like the first time since i've been so crazy abt a guy.
bt thaanks to all my past mistakes, things arent gg the way i've planned.
smthg's wrng , i can feel it.
smthg bad is gona happen bt idknw when. i wana prepare myself bt idhave the strength to do so.
it jst feels like i'm loosing my power day by day. &it sucks.
i've nvr felt this way.

WHAT HAPPENED TO US?

this sucks big time.
it's a beautiful nightmare that i wana wake up from.
regain my strength &get bk up on my feet. i've gt to face reality &bravely face w'ver's cmng, w' J by my side.

im left hanging, &i need smeone to lead me the way.

p/s: i've lost it.

tsk

2010-05-05T19:25:00.000+08:00

i feel fcking miserable.

p/s: love is fking arnd w' my life.

i went home at midnight

2010-05-01T00:20:00.000+08:00

YESSS!! im home. how surprising is thaat??
met J fer like barely 3hrs today.
supposingly, he was suppose to pick me up. bt school ended late for him. so we changed the timing.
cos he decided to play soccer, he said he'd meet up at 3instead.
unfortuantely he was too addicted to soccer &decided he'd come at 5.

i went home straight afta school.
simply lazed arnd the house for 3hrs. it was damn fking boringD:
so i decided to accompany Martian shopping!
helped him pick out presents for his kid cousin at Taka. haha, shopping presents for a kid is kinda diff! he couldnt make up his mind so he bought all 3 itend.

met up w' J arnd 8-30ish& he went bk slightly before 11.
&imisshim alrd. fk!
i feel so fking..... ppfft!

gona play cafe world. not in the mood to blog. toodles.

p/s: D:

i stayed home!

2010-04-28T08:55:00.000+08:00

Happy 8months:D

blogging early today cos i didnt go to school& bcos i can bet than i wont have the mood to update my blog later on. trust me.
i'm taking a short break from all that studying.
re-did my geog &ss notes, memorized a few chapters successfully. only for s.s
damn! im fking proud of myself. later on i gota continueD: Bio&Physics.
&yupp, i've totally given up on my POA. bt i cant drop the subject, i mean, idwana drop it anymore.

ohmygosh, i feel like taking photos &just dressing up this weekend.
no particular reasons bt idknow why, i just feel like doing so. haha. random much!
most prolly gona spend my Saturday evening taking pictures:D

Sissie's bdae's coming &i know just the thing to get her.
gona buy it w' J on Friday. than prolly i'' study for abit than head to Jones@Dempsey.
meeting up w' F for awhile. its kinda funny cos i kinda miss working.

i've been trying to shape up&jst slim down. exercising is def not my thang. so no choice, i tried a diff bt nt a very healthy method. starving myself.
&it worked. well, i suffered a lil. bt when i compare my photos, now &last time, i saw the results! still have to slim down more thou.

OHYYYEESS! there's this slitch whom i fking fking hate &i just feel like tearing her into 2 &skin her alive. ohmygosh.
i cant stand her fking Ego& she thinks she's all that.
someone better wake her up. so fking plastic!
damn! like HELLOooo! at least i wasnt as cocky& arrogant as you! yr Fake, im nt.
that's the only diff &i'l give u that.
she's a typical &good example of a PLASTIC!
yr getting on my nerves.

to think abt it, i think i've been rather nice lately. to everyone.
AGREE?? haha:D dont answer!wasnt a question.

aiteee. gg bk to cafe world:D

p/s: AamorMoi♥

you, you, more of you.

2010-04-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

im just craving for a bit more of attention.
im just craving for a bit more of yr love.
im just craving for a bit more of yr presence.
im just craving for a bit more of feeling needed.
im just craving for a whole lot more of u.

dont blame me for feeling this way bcos i cant help the way i feel.
sometimes, if i could i really hope i dont crave for things i cant have, for things i can never get.
call me greedy, call me ungrateful.
im not obsessed, just head over heels over you.

you know i love you. &i know that im asking for too much.

p/s: one day u will understandm, that u make a big difference in my life.

pictures from the zoo &no school today. for me.

2010-04-20T12:27:00.003+08:00

pictures from the zoo. sorry i took so lng to upload em.
anws, there's more in facebook if u wana see!
next stop! NightSafari:D

yes. i didnt go to school today.
wasnt physically fit to do so. besides, i've been trying to read more chinese articles &stuff for my mid-year oral which im nt prepared for.
so i decided to spend the day at hme catching up on chinese.
i've been flunk-ing my oral for as long as i can rmbr. no matter how hard i try to sound like a chinese, i get laughed at.
try listening to me speak, its hilarious, i'l give u that.
thou i somehow manage to get either an A2 or B3 for chinese. teehee:D

thaank god i was able to sleep in.
i nvr felt so tired in my life. i did everything as per usual but i felt even more exhausted ystd. keeping my eyes open was a challenge. i felt sick, weak &felt like fanting.
thankfully i was able to divert my attention to reading &than i was otphone for awhile.
getting myself to sleep was another huge challenge. i was super-ultra-mega-tired bt somehow, i stayed awake. the lights were off, there wasnt any sound& i still couldnt get my beauty sleep.
i ended up thinking deep thoughts &just reflecting abt everything i've gone thru lately.

i woke up this mrng, &did my chinese work. read National Geog (i've been reading alot lately) watched tvee for awhile, did my work agn& played cafeworld.

here i am now, blogging.

i've somehow lost my appetite. i've no mood to eat, its like i've totally lost interest in eating.
seems like nicotine is the only thing i long for.

on friday i'l be gg to Tamp.
J's got Sports day &im gona watch. he's taken part in a few events &im sure he'l do me proud!

p/s: its u that makes me feel perfect.

worst case scenario.

2010-04-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

i woke up at the wrng side of the bed today.
it totally did nt start of well. &even now, im still having like a bad day.
seemed like i was high on drugs afta recess.
my eyes were swollen and watery, &i felt so so sick. my flu almost killed my nose.
besides that, the classroom felt so stuffy &the if felt like the classroom hadnt been clean for a year.
not to mention, i was late for the first times this year=/ thankfully, no detention.

there were huge, as in MAJOR misunderstandings. it didnt end there. even afta school. it got worst.
the entire day seemed like a living hell.
i didnt have the mood to study. to be frank, i didnt learn anyth today.
i dont recall jotting any notes down much less opening my book.
at this rate, im certainly gona fail my O's, which better nt happpen. my life would be over. sort of.

what other drama can happen next? ohmyfgosh!

i've gt tuition in the evening. before that, meeting up w' a friend.
im exhausted!

i'l blog agn tonight.

p/s: iloveu. no matter whaat.

second post of the month.

2010-04-14T15:55:00.000+08:00

its been weeks since i've blog.
same reason, same excuse.

i reached home not too long ago. &i have to get ready for math tuition very soon.
school &tuition is like a daliy routine now. only on weekdays.
Monday's English, Tuesday's Chinese, Wednesday's Math, Thursday's both sciences, Friday's Humans.
check it out. wake up, go to school, &after, head home to get ready for tuition or wait for Michael to pick me up, tuition &than, home. finish my homework, go to sleep.
so i've practically no life.
im officially a geek. not entirely thou. cos weekends, is when i can have my fun. xcept for sunday. cos sunday's bk to studying.

anws, thaanks to J, i consider myself an A student for math, for Vectors in particular:D

so i helped out in the awards day ceremony& KR's 10th anni. it was quite a blast.
bonded w' the juniors &from enemies, we became friends.
served the vvips &stuff, took quite a few photos. uploading another day.

if i manage to score well for my prelims, like all my subjects B3 or higher, i wont attend classes in school. instead, i'l go for intensive tuition classes.
since most of my tuition are 1 to 1, i'l benefit more &wouldnt have to waste time when the teachers are busy trying to get the students to settle down. &students getting scolded by the teachers. total waste of time.
i would def need a miracle for that to happen:D
HAHAH. most prolly i'l go to bangkok to pray a month's before prelims and O's.
cos praying to those GODS really did work like a charm. im more than grateful.
but no, im not buddhist or anyth. free thinker.

btway, there's an event held at StJames power station on 2ndMay.
i doubt i'l be gg. cos everytime i club, it really burns a huge hole in my pocket.
currently trying to save up as much as i can now. i wana go shopping!
&the 6months of hols that is coming in November, i'l def need a huge sum of money. haha. its quite a long time more but im alrd planning to work.
location? still unsure.

i def do wana meet up w' my girlfs soon!!
prolly meeting em this week. but i've got a study date w' J this friday. speakineg of date, i wana watch that movie! eerm, DATE NIGHT!!
anws if u girls see this, text me, we'l plan something yeah.

okaay. i'l upload the photos either today or sometime soon.
cos the trip to the zoo, till now, havent uploaded it yet. &pics at supperclub, etc.
gona eat. toodles!

p/s: j, I MISSU DEARLY. i cant wait to see ya!xx

cut shot.

2010-04-04T19:51:00.003+08:00

i'l be updating soon:D
tired &kinda lazy.

:D mug mug mug

2010-03-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

MUG MUG MUG!!!
i've got to pull up my socks! everyone seems to be doing so except me. from where i see it.
everything's actually going way too fast, time is wasted& passing way faster than i expected. its alrd March &to be honest, i havent actually started revising or anything.
homework? yes. mostly completed but studying? not one bit.

since J's crazy in lovee w' Studying nw, i think its time i do too.
i know its selfish of me to grouch over him not spending enough time w' me but i cant help it. i dont want us to drift apart. i doubt i'l be able to patch things up so easily this time.
all i've been thinking abt is what i am going to do once O levels is over.
fuck! i cant get the thought of FUN out of my mind. simply thinking abt Study is alrd stressing me out. haha.
but its not like i really have a choice now. do i? oh well.

Did my chinese paper1 today. ended quite late &was abit tired.
paper was manageable i guess? i better do pass this paper.
tmr's paper2.
so i met up w' Shakilah &Justina for awhile than went home. finished my SocialStudies homework, did a lil of tuition homework. the worst part! i totally forgot abt Geog!
fancy leaving my Geog behind D: gona get shit tmr.

in approx 52hrs more, i get to meet J:D
excited! havent seen him for like 4days &im alrd suffocating, dehydrating, etc etc.
Ahma keeps telling me to get over w' O levels &be done w'. i know but the process i have to go through is bloody long. feels like years till i complete secondary education.
J kept telling me abt how we shd just sacrifice a few months &after we get to spend our lives together.. i am aware of that. but in between, i dont want anything or anyone messing arnd w' our r/s. its fragile.
but w'ver it is, im gona start studying. support him &encourage him to study:D
am i a gd girlf or what? haha!

gona sleep now. past my bedtime. j will nag. caring huh:D bunch of cuteness. haha.

p/s: loosing u is the last thing i wana do.

p/s: yr world, is my world, yr fight is my fight.

2010-03-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

If i could have one person by my side right now, that person would def be J.
its a great pity we arent able to live together yet. goosh. im thinking so far ahead huh!

poor him, sick &all alone. hopefully he gets well soon.
i hardly spokee to him today=/ he was busy getting his atm card done.
(keen on saving money together, cos he wants me to stop splurging so much on unnecessary stuff)
anws, when he reached home, he was feeling weak, tired &now he's feeling sick. hmmm.
so i spoke to him for barely 10 mins each time cos he wanted to sleep.

Just came back from tuition not too long ago. fairly exhausted.
the feeling of going back to school is reinforced when i resume my daily routines.
perhaps im currently still in my holiday mood this morning. my body's still not comfortable w' the changes.
having to wake up early in the mrng, bathe, get dressed for school &leaving the house on my heels.
why cant singapore's system be something like the system in US? where everything doesnt have to move so quickly.

i read a random person's blog earlier. &this girl stated that she was scolded for answering the teacher's question, although not in a very polite manner.
HAHA. i've gotten that alot:D &im taking the opportunity to speak out.

Singaporeans are described as people who just keep quiet &never question what is handed to them, even if they dont understand it or think it's unfair. well, most of em. actually, we're afraid to ask, not bcos we've got no guts, but because we fear offending or more likely, looking stupid to the rest of the audience.

i blame the school. when we learn how a wrong answer invites admonishment.
people dont ask questions, as it immediately puts people in the rish of being classified as either an idiot or egoist or a troublemaker.
i admit i have a mouth that i cant control. it sure brought me notoriety but mostly nagging! haha.

enough abt that. anws, get well soon baabeyboy. imissyou so.

p/s: yr world, is my world, yr fight is my fight.

grateful.

2010-03-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

we shd be grateful that something so special, so unique &so magnificent exsits, Love.
&therefore baabey, im really wana express my gratitude. &im so thankful for everything u've done for me. yr my shoulder to cry on, ya give me strength to carry on whenever im in crisis, u are always able to light up a smile upon my face.
we've been through so much together. to think abt it, we're almost hitting the 7month in just a couple more days. &im glad, grateful that yr still by me.

having the ablitiy to love is ever so significant. i feel blessed, for im able to experience &know what it feels like to love &be loved by people so special.
myannoying girlfs, mysweetest mates, my family & mydearest boyf.
ya'l stuck w' me through thick &thin &i've nvr taken any of yr kindness or patience for granted. CORRECTION! i do on certain occassions but dont blame me. their for various reasons &i only did so bcos i knew u'd guys would unnderstand. thats one of the reasons why, i love u guys so.

im happy that Jay loves me for who i am. for me being me ¬hing beats the feeling of him being by my side. knowing that he would be there for me througout everything is alrd comforting.
i've got tons of competition. guys, girls. but why am i not surprised!

today Mrs Tee asked me abt Jay. not surprised that she knows im attached but she gave me a lil advice. honestly, she is def one of the teachers i respect the most.
BUT she unpicked my skirt=/ skirt looked totally unglam.

im suppose to go for dance today. otherwise i'd get suspended from school tmr.
which i think is totally not necessary& the punishment is way too harsh. i've got tuition later on &Queen B is nt in favour of me going for Dance. crap. i think im gg to get into major shit tmr. like a hell load of SHIT!
suspended? tsk! if im getting suspended, i'd rather not go to school every Monday &Friday. common, its just dance. yeah i know its important but hello? its nt like im gg out or something.
im starting to feel like a prisoner in school.
we're being watched by the teachers &under their supervision as if we're prisoners. any wrong move &we're done for. are we suppose to be feeling this way?
what happened to all the... kids are so pampered, schools dont take harsh disciplinary action on students like they use to, blah blah blah.
i think the punishment now is far worst.
there's still canning for the boys, getting detention etc.
now we get suspended, have to fill up forms for things we did wrong. etc. tsk.
we're restricted from so many things &its almost impossible to have any say. what happen to freedom of speech???
what i mean is, teachers are right, students wrong. fullstop. literally. thats my opinion &how i see it. its kinda bullshit if u ask me. oh well.

i guess i'l blog agn. gona study awhile since Jay is sleeping. toodles:D

p/s: we're starting anew.

this week.

2010-03-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

i like J. im in love w' him :D
nothing's gona change the way i feel abt him.
nothing's gona stand on our way.
forever &always, always &always.

every girl is a potential threat.
ya'l must be thinking he is another one of my flings. sorry to burst yr bubble, cos he isnt.

school's starting tmr=/ i HATE school.
totally no interest. not one bit. my life sucks! not literally, only the part abt school. haha.
cant wait to see him afta school tmr:D tee-hee!
he looked adorable last night when he was fast asleep.
couldnt go Alin's bdae. so so sorry. dnt be mad.

anws went out w' Pendewho, idknow how to spell. its a group. together w' Sabrina.
the past few days was a blast. got to spend time w' him.
monday till wednesday, thursday i went down to tamp afta school than friday &saturday went out w' J, went home suprisingly early. spend time at home w' him instead.
we took alot of photos the past few days. will upload when Elly's camera or w'ver's repaired, or something like that:D

till, whenever!

p/s: Jay, my one &only, my last.

pichas:D

2010-03-18T21:40:00.001+08:00

18 March

2010-03-18T21:40:00.000+08:00

its been weeks since i've updated.
thaanks to the hols, i decided that its time to do something to my blog.
haha. new photos coming soon:D

the trip to Bangkok was kinda sucky. cos J wasnt there w' me D:
next vacation, he is so so coming. which would most prolly happen afta O's.
looking forward to it.

so yeah, bought quite a few stuff from Bangkok.
i had my nails done, pimp-ed up my phone w' my all time fav Cat named Marie.
bought clothes, accessories &stuff for ppl. dvd's. & EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT, until, i GAINED 3KG. wtfuck right!
ohmygosh. DIET?!
&it was FUCKING hot i tell u. thaank god i brought shorts.
everyday felt like in Africa.

speaking of the weather, Asia's gona have 4 seasons.
Africa's gona be Cold &Antartica's gona be HOT.
yeah for me! more clothes:D boots, winter wear, spring, summer &autumn. all the diff seasons. hahahha!
only gona happen in 2 more years thou. that's if it really comes true.
&no jokee, i watched the Documentary. fucking cool huh!

anws, Movie Marathon w' J tmr:D totally psyched abt it.
than gona eat at dknow what place, he wants to bring me there to eat. its got a real funny name. haha. i think he made it up.

hmmm. what else.
oh yeah, had to wake up early today for POA tutorial in school=/ wtfuck. holiday mood killer huh.
afta which, went over to Honey's place w' CookieMonz.
wanted to watch Madagascar. haha. cos this guy from POA class, sec4 guy, matches every single feature as the Hippo. not Gloria, MotoMoto,m or MonoMono. idknow the name. haha. but its hilarious.
went to Tamp to meet J afta that. met Tracy for awhile. saw Fatin &her friend. they watched us eat. Fatin's on a diet. which i totally think is so not necessary. she's alrd gorgeous.

oh yeah. &Gorgeous-Hamka, told me that my Name, NATASHA, actually means the sword of Satan. so im actually named after a sword. hahah.

so yeah. will blog agn soon. lazy. haha. will upload pics instead.

p/s: i love J.

Zirca& Rebel.

2010-02-27T15:19:00.001+08:00

ROMP V
“ELECTROHOPPIN’ HAWT”
15TH MARCH 2010
ZIRCA & REBEL
DOORS OPEN AT 7PM SHARP

Come 15th March 2010, for 01 night only, watch Singapore’s largest, most premium R&B and Hip Hop Club
Zirca and Rebel transform into an electrifying underground Hip Hop Battle Dance Arena as
Hip Hop Lovers, Girls and Boys, Crews or Not, Rappers and MCs, Dancers or BBoys gather for
01 night ONLY to catch an exhilarating, breath-taking and never seen before Hip Hop Dance Battle
Happening this 15th March 2010.

One step poppin’ or lockin’ or be it two step windin’ and grindin’
Catch 05 Hip Hop Crews battle out against each other for the
Esteemed Title of emerging victorious from
ROMP V
This 15th March 2010

The proud winners will then walk home with more than SGD2,000 worth of cash and prizes
(see below for the list of awards and prizes)

ROMP V this 2010 will be hosted by the ever beautiful Collette Claire Miles alongside with her partner,
A deadpanner for the ever gorgeous ex-actress Annabelle Francis, Ms Sherri Ashlee.

Lookout also for our roving reporters, the IT boy of the season with his ever cheeky quips and grins, Mister Vernon Chow and his desirable partner, one that he has yet to reveal
Watch as they make their way into the crowd, and please smile when the camera’s on you! You may ask them for a Polaroid shot of you and your groupie too!

Catch special celebrity guest performances and appearances by BBoy Crews and members of the prestigious
Hip Hop Clan of Singapore.

This year 2010
ROMP V is also flying in 3 World Renowned Hip Hop Choreographers / Artistes from Los Angeles
who have recently taken Asia, Korea and Japan by storm
Shaun Evaristo Ft Pat Cruz and Aimee Lucas Lee
By choreographing for TOP artistes like Big Bang, Se7en, Tae Yang etc.
(Please see below for profile and credentials)

ROMP V is definitely burning up the stage this 2010!
We promise non stop R&B Hip Hop Electropop music after the Dance Battle

Featuring
In Zirca

Singapore’s Top R&B DJ Rattle alongside his Bboy Crew

DJ Tok with his manic remixes Ft MC SOF – everyone’s party man

A guest world premier performance by drum maestro, the dashing, tall and dark, newest DJ in town,
Attitude! Introduced and mentored by DJ Tok himself

And in Rebel spinning Electropop and Trance all night long

Introducing

DJ Dewdropzz with his wicked scratches and beats

And DJ Lil Jon, Singapore’s youngest 14 yr old DJ sponsored by Pioneer

We’ve got everyone in the house to get you windin’ and grindin’, high on love,
And having a HELLUVA fun night! We don’t think anyone else does a party better than us at
The Youth Empire and The Party Box

So ladies and gentlemen, you and you
RESPECT RESPECT!
We cordially invite you to attend the Fifth Instalment, Hip Hop Never Seen Before

ROMP V
“Electrohoppin HAWT”
15th March 2010
Doors Open 7PM Sharp
Zirca & Rebel
Tickets are going for SGD25.00

We are proud to say we are ASIA'S LARGEST HIP HOP GATHERING. Peace.

pls pls pls contact me asap if yr interested!!!
XOXO.

msn: natashamarie_08@hotmail.com
or just tag my tagboard.

let the pictures do the talking.

2010-02-27T14:32:00.003+08:00

27 feb 10

2010-02-27T13:35:00.004+08:00

sheesha at Arab street last night.
right before all the fucked up Drama happened.
the photos uploaded next will be from CNY:D
xx

ten feb twentyten.

2010-02-10T20:01:00.001+08:00

SEVEN DAYS since i've blogged.

things that has happened in school, changed seating arrangement, Ilya shifted to Jeremy.
POA test today which, obviously i flunked agn. classes are getting a real bore!
pyhsics= BORING! as per usual.
nothing much happened other than that.
watched soccer today! haha.

aitee. kinda lazy to blog now actually. hahaha.
planning to change my blogskin. getting sick of looking at it!

i've made plans alrd. from Friday to Tuesday afternoon:D
&hell yeah. im excited.
im in need of money btway. so, dear god, pls do let me find money By Friday. & i'l promise i'l be good.
need to go shopping. i need clothes!! oh fuck. pls kill me alrd. tsk.
ttfn.

p/s: i love the way u tell me u love me.

Deactivated Facebook account

2010-02-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

Hey People:D

just wana inform everyone that i have deactivated my facebook account for various reasons:D
i'l only be active here. so yeah. if anyone wants to contact me, either text or tag my board.
dont bother asking why. Why? dont ask.

havent done any work yet. i dont think there's homework anws.

BORED BORED BORED.
prolly sleeping soon.

goodnight!

you got me slipping, tumbling, tripping cos' i've fallin in lovee.

2010-02-03T19:22:00.000+08:00

SO IN LOVE W' U:D

im home:D
wasnt planning on blogging actually.
but i've got nothing to do. might as well.

SCHOOL.
it was okay, felt insecure cos of my stupid pimple breakout.
right at my forehead. totally visible=/
classes were so-so. nothing much.
except afta assembly, a few of us went to PSG room to collect stuff for Friday.
CIP's on friday:D another round of photo taking session. ohhyeah.

group members: MYSELF. duh. Honey, Munchkin, Sardine, Amalina &Rudy!
i can bet we're gona have fun. bringing Uno Stacko,

back to topic, we went down to collect food. which required us 2rounds to go back up&down.
it was alot alot of food &all. HAHAHA.
we might as well not buy anything for the hamper. Milo, Oil, Rice, w'ver. u name it. its all there.
my group hasnt packed the stuff yet thou. heh.
we were playing a fool in the psg room. throwing the stuff arnd &all. thaanks to that, my day started off well. it was fun:D
esp when Eugene made fun of some ppl:D wont mention names.

false alarm! no POA test. thaank god.
most prolly i'ma stay back on Friday for extra lessons on POA.
dont have much choice, i've gota sacrifice a lil.

afta school met up w' e rest. the normal, Faizal, Justina, Muz, Shakilah &Iskandar. met Indah for awhile.
went to Iskandar's house. played cards w' em. slacked, etc etc.

IM FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING HUNGRY.
practically starving.
gona go hunt for food now:D

p/s: you got me slipping, tumbling, tripping cos' i've fallin in lovee. crazy in lovee w' u':D
i'm sorry for w'ver i did to u in the past. let bygones be bygones.

OHHHHNOOOO!

2010-02-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

OHHHHNOOOO!
i've got a POA test to study for. &POA is first on my HATE list.
i really suck at it. i shd have studied in sec3. now im totally flunk-ing it. crap!

ystd i pampered myself the whole night. haha.
slept earlier than usual. had a fucking long shower:D
washed my face uncountable times. cut my nails, stuff like that. TEE-HEE!
i wana go to Sentosa.

agn i had a rough day. actually, as long as its a school day, its a bad day for me.
Assembly was a bore. as per usual.
i got suspended afta school for saying FUCK YOU. &MrKoh so happened was in a bad mood.
he ended up giving me 2hrs detention. which was suppose to be continued the following day. However, he let me off afta an hr.
so long as i re frame from saying such Vulgar language in his presence.
i cant help it. its kinda of my fav word:D haha.
nah, actually, bcos im so use to saying such words. its like an everyday necessity u know.

by then, i was alrd late for my chinese tuition. like half an hour late.

this morning, i was late for school agn, thaanks to Nick.
he slept early, took his time to wake up. HAHA. no sense of urgency much.

thaank god i managed to finish my Chinese homework during tuition.
it was kinda easy actually.
ooh, &i bought a chinese dictionary that costed me nearly my whole allowance. 35 bucks. it is expensive. really expensive.
wooosssh. hopefully Queen B gives me extra.

im meeting myBitch this Friday. going to J.W's house to drink. ohhyeahh!
excited to meet her:DD cos i miss her like FUCCKKK!
have so much to talk to her abt. all the gossip &stuff as well.

i promised Shakilah i'l be meeting her tmr afta my POA test. i've been bailing out on em' for a few days straight.
&they are getting kinda mad at me. i do miss them anws.

its alrd the 2nd. couple more days till Valentine's day:D idknow why but im really looking forward.
i havent exactly spent Valentine's day properly yet. Hopefully this year, i get to:D
i love surprises!

p/s: we may have quarreled a lot in the past. but u& i know that we are meant for each other. i love you even more every day.

01 Feb.

2010-02-01T15:16:00.000+08:00

FINALLY:D im home!
its amazing how i managed to walk back home, considering the heat! which practically burned my skin.
fuck! it was like, walking in burning flames.
kinda exaggerating but, wtfuck.
the heat is ridiculous!

so i slept pretty late last night. close to 4am.
woke up, took a really quick shower and rushed for school.
Queen B sent us to school. &i'm thankful that she's arnd.
although i feel like she's changed ever since the divorce papers. her behavior's getting on my nerves.
u must be thinking, who am i to say such stuff.

reached school, feeling really tired.
school was okay. English period was alrt. having a test tmr thou.
incomplete POA work was handed up. i couldnt finish it. clueless.
there's still a Chinese letter writing to be done. &revise my bio &geog/ ss tonight.
hopefully i'l have that determination i need to complete all within a night.

we have a new classmate:D
she's like the best player in tchoukball for Cassio. yeah-ness!

yet agn, i skipped dance. but i promise to attend dance on Friday.
gota keep my word on that. kinda miss watching the dances do their thing.
wait... what am i talking abt. haha.
sorry, side tracked a lil.

tmr i'm going to shaw to get my glasses.
afta which, going to tuition. Chinese Tuition to be exact.
i've been missing classes for a month alrd. haha.

schedule for Feb is getting tighter.
13, 14, 15Feb im booked.
looking forward to the outtings. kinda consider it as a break for me.
not to mention chinese new year celebration. the thought of extra $$ is making me excited:D

i've decided that i'l keep a monkey as pet when im older:D
haha.
blogging agn tonight:D

insomnia

2010-01-31T23:11:00.000+08:00

hey people=/
i cant sleep!!! i dont feel tired.

i had tuition earlier. before that i was at westcoast.
quickly rushed home, just to make sure i wont be late for tuition.
maths was really boring. no wonder i felt so tired.

the reason why i've not gotten my belly pierced yet, even though i kept saying i would, is bcos im afraid of the pain.
HAHAHA. i know, just get it over and donee w'.
im still sticking to my decision abt piercing my belly. i dont wana drag any longer.
oh man.

totally looking forward to 13Feb &15Feb:D another outting.
i miss everyone.
i just realised that lately, im become so emotional &idknow, sensitive? towards everyone& everything.
no wonder im having pimple breakouts. FUCK. all the more i get worked up.
nothing's helping.

we had pizza for dinner earlier. thou, i didnt eat much.
agn, wasnt really in the mood to eat. no reason why.

ohyeah, most likely heading to Wavehouse w' Ruby this Sat or something. all depends.
first i gota ask for permission &secondly, $$$. haha. hopefully QueenB will be in a gd mood.

honestly, i fucking hatee school now.
i've got tests every 2 days or 3 days.
i hate English Lessons cos of the cranky Teacher which really spoils the day.
English is by right, my favourite subject. thaanks to her, it isnt anymore.
somehow, she's like looking down on me.
which reminds me, i read an article in National.g last friday. which made me get really pissed off.
in Singapore Secondary schools, they have different streams. special, express, normal acad& technical.
apparently, it is said that Normal academic stream students jobs in the future, are jobs like factory workers &such.
i mean, there's nothing wrong w' being a factory worker but common, is that the best a NA student's job can be?
i was like, WTHELL? are u fucking serious? it was kinda offended in a way.
as if i was being look down on.

w'ver. enough of that.
coming Tuesday i have to go to Shaw to pick up my glasses.
like finally afta so long i've been wanting to get it donee.

will be blogging agn tmr if possible.

GOODNIGHT!

p/s: i really really do lovee u. pls trust me. i know i havent exactly been showing it much but i think u shd know that i really do.
so much has happened between us. dont let it all go down to waste. i know we'l make it thru. cos you &i know, right next to u is where i truly belong. i love you.

2010-01-31T03:08:00.000+08:00

31st! Feb's coming.
Valentine's day, Chinese New Year, Nick's Bdae:D
Tchoukball competition as well.
exciting much!

anws, HAPPY BDAE to January Baabies.

Friday night, i went out w' Shakilah, Iskandar, Justina, Faizal, Botak&Nick.
there was a whole lot of drama. seriously. it was insanely ridiculous.

since we were way past the last train & last bus, all of us ended up walking from Marina to Orchard.
all of em spent the night at my place.
Shakilah did not sleep at all. i did, for abt 5 mins. haha.
so yeah, we reached home at abt 4am in the morning.
the rest woke up at 8am than left.

drank a lil. as per usual, Glens Vodka. 2bottles + coke.
spotted J.W in the bus when Michael was sending us to Marina.

afta they left, i had my beauty rest for 7hrs straight:D
woke up w' a fucking pimple. tsk.

Saturday. woke up. slept, woke up &went back to bed agn.
i managed to talk to him today:D so all was good.

oh! my poor cafe world. forgot all abt the food, everything ended up rotting.
send me stuff in cafeworld aitee:D be sure to do so!!

not many photos to upload this week. which reminds me, i've nt uploaded quite a few photo's yet.

the past 2 days were pretty rough.
hopefully today turns out better. i've got tuition later on thou. Physics &Maths.
most prolly heading to WestC in the latee afternoon.
i've got loose ends to tie.

Queen B got herself a new watch which is.... AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! to die for.
&a red channel. im really dying for 1. but QueenB's not exactly keen on getting me one yet.
thou, i'l be getting my card this year &stuff.

afta O levels, i've decided to work.
unsure of the location but i def wana do so.
if possible, at Sentosa. 6months of play. the time of my life!

as for piercings, im only allowed to get my belly pierced=/
but all the better right? saving money.

i shall post agn later in the evening(:

p/s: do u believe in magic?

desperate for clothes

2010-01-27T21:10:00.001+08:00

im OFFICIALLY OUT OF CLOTHES.
well, i was packing my stuff earlier &i realised how little clothes i have.
how much more dresses i need to match my shoes, accessories.
i need more shorts as well.
its only a matter of time till i slim down:D
than, i'l look even more FAB:D hahaa.

currently, saving money for piercings.
no worries, im not gona pierce that many till i loook like some gothic chick neither would i pierce my mouth till im a metal mouth.
just 5 more piercings.
i think 150 bucks shd be able to cover all 5? hmmm.

anws, i'l def be blogging agn tmr:D teehee.
nights PPL!

p/s: just me.

past week or two?

2010-01-27T11:03:00.004+08:00

that picture is before i did the hair fashion show.
i dont have other pictures w' me at the moment so yeah.

finally:D
my parents are seperated.
i didnt attend school today. instead, went for the court hearing.
parents filed for the divorce a year ago. thank god, its settled now.

i saw him for the first time in 10months Today.
&it wasnt a pretty sight.
he didnt even smile as a single gesture when he saw us.
total turn off. to think i smiled &he ignored our presence.
as if he doesnt know us at all.

when Jie &I talked to him, we came to a point where he flew into a rage.
he cant rmbr my bdae last year, he doesnt know my age &such.
who wouldnt get mad.
w'ver. im really really over joyed that all this is settled.

another hearing on the 24th of Feb abt custody &all.
that, i have nothing to worry abt. cos im definite that all 3 of us, custody goes to Queen B.
its obvious that he will lose.

p/s: thaanks to EVERYONE that has been there for me:D
im really really grateful.
Jay, Indah, Ilya, Justina, Suhaimi, Iskandar, Faizal, Shakilah, Muz etc etc.
thaanks for supporting me. lucky me, im not that kinda emotional kinda person. haha.

i havent been updating lately.
well, im sortof busy w' school, tutorials are almost everyday. if not there's dance or something. tchoukball practices.
so by the time i reach home, i'l be dead beat. sleep early for my beautyrest. i do need it you know!

last friday, i went to Marina together w' Shakilah &the rest.
had alota fun. drank till my sore throat worsened. wasnt drunk though.

on Saturday i spend the night at Pasir Ris.
im down w' a really bad flu &sore throat.
drank drank drank:D so def there was fun.

i've got seriously a million of photos to upload.

went sheesha w' Ain, Rudy, Adelina, Indah &the rest as well.
not gona elaborate on anything further aitee.
not that much happened but too lazy to elaborate. haha.
than went to Pasir Ris for Hardee's bdae. w' J& Nick.

anws, im thinking of getting my hair donee agn.
like do it properly. wana perm a lil bit.
&get a new bag pack &all. Queen B's willing to buy, thinking twice.
cos i do want new clothes as well. hahaha.

so im playing for Cassio agn this year. Tchoukball:D
psyched much!! hhaha.

havent seen Ain, Hazman, Dalila, Fazli, Ruby, Adelina, etc for quite a while.
i miss you all dearly=/
wish u guys were still in school.
hope to see ya'l soon. go out w' me pls??

havent seen J that often either.
hmmm. i do miss him very much actually.

oh yeah, going Busking w' Suhaimi on Sunday. street performer:D
tagging along w' em. be an extra. hahah!
so exciting.

going for Lunch later on than going to meet Shakilah, Faizal &the rest.
collect school work &mayb go to school for classes. haha.
see how it goes.

p/s: fallen for you all over again.

19 Jan :D

2010-01-19T18:57:00.001+08:00

EY YA'L:D

i've been pretty busy lately. but promise i'l be blogging soon.
blog's really dead.

yes, i cut my hair. didnt have a choice cos of HairLah HairShow.
i really had a great time:D
etc etc.

will be updating soon.
dozen of photos waiting to be uploaded:D
till then!

1st week of school.

2010-01-09T13:15:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone:D
first week of school's over. not in favor w' a few teachers. but its not like i can do much abt it.
i didnt buy new bag or new shoes for the year. didnt really think it was that impt, instead i bought books.
HAHA. i know its really unlike me huh.

so i went to NgeeAnn poly ystd &the day before.
cos on the first day i couldnt check out the course i wanted. the queue was far too long, couldnt imagine myself standing there for like an hr just to go in. not to mention the heat that was killing me.
decided to go back to visit the next day. checked out the course i wanted.
MASSCOM, FilmMedia&something. cant rmbr the last word.
thaank god Justina&Martin accompanied me itend cos Ain couldnt make it.

surprisingly i've been studying the past couple of days.
neglecting my boyf a lil=/ im sorry.
i just really wana get as little points as i can. the only ways to study.

ystd i hanged arnd w' Justina& Shakilah& Iskandar till 9 plus or so, at clementi.
boy, i do miss em. afta which went to find T. arnd the area as well.
before that, ate w' J&Justina at Mac.

im planning on taking Literature for my O's as a private candidate.
doesnt seem like i have any other route cos my POA's really killing me &im def not enjoying the suffering.
just the other day i had a poa test &i blanked out. i tempted the questions for half an hr afta which, slept for the next hr.
its been only 1week &i've done 2 tests. another one next tuesday. gosh, pls tell me i made the right choice by going to Sec5.
i really have to do well for my O's.

anws, tmr's not the day for my HairShow., tmr's just the rehearsal. at the same place, Taka.
on Monday's the real day. i'll be missing out on school.
kinda excited for it. J, QueenB, &mayb Sissie's gona go see me during the Rehearsal. PSYCHED!

earlier i was browsing thru the net, i saw Azra &Dalila's blog.
i may not be that close too em, as in not in Drawn. but i must say that i do fucking miss em. so so much.
random much, i know but i do miss em=/ not to mention Ruby &Ain=/
MANNNN!

im not enjoying school very much. i miss the old days.
where all my friends were arnd. sure, i know, make new friends. but i just cant seem to clique well w' the rest.
esp a few of the sec4's this years are alrd getting on my nerves. its getting quite hard to control my anger.
esp ystd, the guy i talked to. mayb i went a lil too far.

Today, not going to do much, just gona study a lil at home.
mayb later heading out for awhile.
by right, im suppose to make my specs. but looks like QueenB's not free today.
i wana go out w' Ain, Dalila &the rest later=/

p/s: thank god, there's u next to me.

♥ def not a good day for me.

2010-01-05T19:40:00.001+08:00

read my title &u know im unhappy!
first week's not up yet but im alrd having a bad day.

school was shitty.
not only bcos i got picked to be the rep for the subject i hated the most, but also bcos of the assembly program we were made to sit thru for abt an hr and a half.
whats worsts is we sat waiting for the speaker to come, for half an hr &it wasnt worth the wait at all.
yeah she was kinda funny 1/10th of the time. but the remaining part, she was plain annoying.
Mrs Siew said it would help us in life &etc. but the only msg i got out of the talk was:" u gota look good in order to succeed."
the heat & stuffy atmosphere was added to my irritation. gosh.

my bad day didnt end just like that,
there's more.

J said :" sometimes u can really be a bitch". or something like that.
im not upset bcos he called me a bitch. im upset bcos he is my boyf &he still has the decency to call me a Bitch.
the bitch part was really a cherry on my ice cream, it did my day.
we didnt meet up , he's schedule's too tight.
actually, i canceled our meeting.

afta school i met up w' Shakilah for awhile. &god i miss her!
went to popular w' Ilya& Indah at westcoast plaza.
i ate at the market w' em together w' Nick.
canceled plans w' the rest cos i was afraid i'd be late to meet J.
in the end, he had a last min soccer meeting which he told me only when i was in the cab, which i hailed, bcos i thought i was late.
even afta he said he'd come by4, he was still in school.
time's really precious for us. but still.... hmm.

i know he sacrificed he's soccer club so that he can spend more time w' me, for that im grateful.

anws QueenB just reached home.
she bought DKNY boots! &they're fucking gorgeous i tell u! ohmyfuckinggod!!
i cant wait to wear em.

this Sunday's the hair modelling thing. im looking forward!

p/s: i shant let anything bring me down.

1st post for 2010

2010-01-03T21:29:00.000+08:00

ohmygosh! its alrd like a new year.
new year, fresh start :D new beginning.

my blog's like dead. sorry cos i've not been updating lately.
was kinda busy. the times when i was home, i didnt get the chance to use the lappy.
i've got a million &one photos to upload. but im too lazy to do so.
so if ya wana see it, just check out my facebook.

ystd i spent the night at Sentosa.
together w' Haiqal &the rest. we certainly had fun!! hahah.
i really enjoyed myself.

i cant believe school's starting in less than 24hrs.
it seemed only ystd hols had just started.
so much had happened during that period of time.
i spent my time mostly w' J. i think our r/s really strengthened alot. &i'm more than proud to say so.
we're going really really smooth.

we spent X'mas together. it was a good one.
we spent NewYear's as well.
he stayed over most of the days. QueenB was okay w' it :D
we got to know the opposite better.
we watched almost all the movies together as well.
we went clubbing as well.
we went fishing even, HAHA.

now that school's tmr, we'l see each other less.
hopefully nothing comes in our way.
cos i get w'ver i want, whenever i want. so stay away from him pls.
i wont go down w/o a fight &i promise it'l be awful!

i spent CountDown at Sentosa. we drank. Ellya went psycho! HAHA. quite a scene actually.
that night i met J's ex as well. i wont be mean but she looks better in pictures than in reality. its a fact so yeah.
&yes, i didnt really like her but i was polite to her.
J met 3 of my ex too. Suhaimi, Haris &Feruz. &incase u guys are reading this, it was really great seeing all of u:D
i made quite a number of friends.

J&i meet almost everyday.
went to his school to buy his Uniform together w' his friends.
hang arnd town as usual. etc etc.

Basically i did enjoy my December Holiday,
i live life to the fullest just to play safe. afraid that the world might really end in 2012. haha.

bonus point for me for 2009, i found my better half:D &i finally stuck to one.

i'l upload the photos. soon. i guess?

p/s: married.

our 4 months ♥

2009-12-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 4MONTHS BAABEY! ♥

i never get bored of him. i know i never will.
i will always ♥ him. the same way he ♥es me.
J, i know u know how much i ♥u. dont cha?

even though we've been together for only 4months, we've gone thru so so much more than other couples.
we've made it through many different kinds of rollercoasters alrd.

today's just another start of a new chapter. &i alrd know that its gona be a happy ending.
we watched Sherlock.H earlier at Shaw. as per usual.
went to eat, took photos, etc etc.
i simply love spending time w' him.
there isnt any need for us to do anything special. he makes me happy just by being by my side. just by meeting him.

J&i no longer are gona count down to our next month's anniversary.
i mean, we'l still meet &stuff but we'l be counting down to our 1year's anniversary instead:D
i know, it seems as if we'l be together for so long. as a matter of a fact, yeah, we are gona be together forever if possible.
p/s: we're getting married in Europe:D

so yeah, J makes me happy.
as long as he is happy, so am i.
i ♥u Baabey, from the bottom of my heart.
u are the only one who can make me feel this way...

My days are a dream that has come true,
Every day is beautiful all thanks to you:D
Now I have found what I've been looking for,
It's you heart& soul and nothing more.

You've showed me the world in such short time,
But we've got the rest of our lives, in fact, a whole lifetime.
I'll end this line with something you should already know,
I♥you so much more than these words show.

♥Christmas Eve.

2009-12-28T13:18:00.000+08:00

today.

2009-12-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

Queen B bought me a new lappy cos i got promoted to sec5:D
lucky me huh!

i cut my hair earlier today. its straight &i dont really like it.
anws, im helping Uncle Sam, my hairdresser to model for his saloon.
its not exactly a really big deal cos this is just a small event but im excited abt it alrd.
not clothes but this time modelling for hairstyles.
i get 15-25 mins on stage, strutting &all.
the shitty part abt this, is... i'l have to miss school on 10th Jan.
QueenB's okay w' it.
if ya want, ya can support me:D held at Takashimaya. but its a school day so, yeah.
Imp's supporting me:D

u know what, i wana Shop!! i want $$$$!!
sadly, Queen B thinks that i've spent enough money the past couple of months.

anws, tmr's timing's changed to 6pm.
till then.

p/s: ont go wasting yr emotions, lay all your love on me:D

I CANT WAIT FOR X'MAS.

2009-12-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

im watching the Grinch:D

just a reminder, X'mas party at my house on the 24th of December.
this thrusday.
bring yr own liquor if ya wana get drunk, same goes for Cigs. etc etc.
as for food &other non-alcoholic drinks would be provided.
pls text me if u are coming:D

venue: Blk28, KumHing Court. Thomlinson Road. Opp FourSeasons Hotel.
behind Wheelock.

from OrchardMrt station it'l take abt 5-10mins to talk.
walk towards Wheelock Place. when yr there. give me a call. i'll direct.

btway, dont have to dress up.
if too many turn up, we'l head to Forum to Drink:D
treat this as a mixer.

Wavhouse Pictures.

2009-12-22T13:19:00.000+08:00

me &Sissie

2009-12-21T14:33:00.000+08:00

ilove this picture:D
me &Sissie. cutee huh!

busy bitching w' MaryAlissa now! heeh.
btway, i've decided what to wear for X'mas. like, when i go out &all.
my clothes white& red. the secondary colours would be green, etc.
i know, sounds like it doesnt match but you'l see:D
def gona take plenty of photos.

later!

everything's alrt.

2009-12-20T15:48:00.002+08:00

everythings alrt:D tee-hee.

anws, we went Wavehouse ystd. Jay paid for my tickets. so yeah:D
alota photos.
&let the pictures do the talking. you'l see!

cos its been quite a while since i've made out w' someone w' the same sex.
Jay was the only one drunk. the rest, tipsy. HAHA.
i had fun! thaanks Baabey.

so, till then.
wait for Ellya upload the photos, i'll post em up.

p/s:iloveyou Baabey.

dont always pick out my flaws.

2009-12-19T05:31:00.001+08:00

♥It's amazing how you can break my heart &i can still love them with all the little broken pieces. Crying over you till my eyes starts to swell. &the tears i shed expressed words that my heart could not. You hurt me too deep. You never loved me. Bcos if you loved me so much, why werent you there when i needed you?

throughout the past 3months, i've caused you so much trouble. &im deeply sorry abt everything that i have done.
but there was never a time where i wasnt there for you when you told me you really needed me. am i right? we would either end up talking on the phone or meeting up.

i made many mistakes. some of my wrong doings really went too far but u still forgive me in the end. i thank you for that. i forgave you abt many things as well.

but this time. you went too far.

you know what hurts the most? its that you were aware that i needed you. you knew how much trouble i was in. how vexed i felt. how fucked up the situation was. but nvr once did you ask me whether i was okay. how i was doing. &all i ever wanted was for you to care abt me. for you to dote on me even though i made you mad. like me getting mad when you drank even though you promised you'd stop drinking on the very same day. hopefully you rmbr what happened next &realise whether me getting upset about what you said was the right thing to do.

you said that i complained to you, about not eating for the past few days, not sleeping, having a fever. watcha do? you end up scolding me.

im definite that you would not enjoy being nagged at, whenever we have a small argument that we could easily have avoided.

you promised me a thousand times that no matter what happens, u'l stick by me. go through every damn obstacle together. resolving every problem together. overcoming any problems we face. but where did all those promises go??

you dont like it when i make empty promises. me doing things i said i'd nvr do agn.
isnt this the same? promising me something that you failed to keep. even when you knew this was the most stressful i've ever gone through? you knew how affected i was by it.

it was utterly disappointing that even still, you chose to nag at me. you chose to scold me. you chose to the exact opposite of the one thing i hated the most.

where are you?

2009-12-19T00:55:00.001+08:00

you know what sucks the most?
its when i need you, but you arent there for me.
yr not there to catch me when im falling. u rather not talk abt it even though im desperate for comfort &help.
all i need is for you to tell me that everything's gona turn out finee.

what happened to us &ours?
i thought my problem is your problem too. i guess i was wrong.
you said you will be there whenever i need you. but where are you now?

im sorry for being selfish. thinking u'd be here for me, forgetting how much you hate anything that concerned this.
but did you forget? im part of the problem.

&all you did is, leave me alone.

My friends are there for me. It may seem like they arent of much help.
But at least, i know that they are there to back me up.
even though they arent in favour of such things either but they still stick by my side.
i thought u said u'd stick by my side, through thick &thin? what happen to that??
i need you the most but you barely wana listen to what im facing right now.

im aware that i got myself into this.
&i shd learn how to stop &stay away from such problems.
but dont leave me alone even if you want me to realise, what i did was wrong.
just put aside yr principles &be there for me.

p/s: i thought wrong. why arent you beside me?

shitty sixteen!

2009-12-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought everything was going right, everything was falling into place, everything seemed to be the way i wanted it to be, A.Casmir went back on his word.
im in deep deep shit right now. feeling so fucked up, so stressed up &its like my head's spinning.
this time, there's no way out.
Money's always giving me problems.

Gosh! QueenB's coming back tmr. &im alrd prepared for a long long lecture.
she isnt happy w' my results even though i made it to sec5.
its not good enough for her. i know that i did not study before the exam, &i still went out as if i was on Holiday.
well, now i know &next year it wouldnt happen agn.
last night, before i sleep, i kinda made a promise, that i would not create any problems in school, no discipline matters, no reflection forms. in other words, no more bad record.
it cant be that diff& it isnt like im that problematic in school. am i?
so yeah, i really do hope tmr will be a better day. ima pray hard tonight.
&the shitty part is, im down w' a slight fever &i can feel the tightness in my throat alrd.
emotions: simply helpless.

anws, i scored 16 points for N level. in other words, i'm promoted to sec5.
sadly some of my girlfs arentD: i'll def be missing em! esp RUBY D:
but there's still Ilya, Indah, Yiwei &Fit arnd.
gosh. i may have made it to sec5 but im still feeling frustrated. still feeling really tense &stressed up!
i do miss my carefree days. when i didnt give shit abt anyone &anything.

there's no one else to blame but myself for making stupid mistakes &wrong choices.
w'ver. screw this shit. i just wana enjoy myself till next year.
till i reach the next level of hell.

J went to town together w' his friends. i was w' mine aft school.
&than we met up for awhile at TakashiWisma.
J's promoted to sec5 as well:D so proud of him! meeting him for awhile managed to get my mind off things. kinda but at least i wasnt that worried when he was around.
i was far too moody, far too tired &too worried to talk alot &stuff.
but its not like i can talk abt such things w' him.
cos firstly, he doesnt like talking abt such matters.
i guess ima face this alonee than.

hopefully everything turns out finee tmr!
cross my fingers, &i wish & i'l pray. let things turn out finee tmr!
may someone pls save me from the shit i'll be going thru tmr.
this time is really urgent.
what's happening tmr isnt drama, its deep shit. it isnt the same. cos tmr's not gona be fun.
i may be going wavehouse.

anws, ima turn in pretty soon. far too exhausted.

p/s: i need my guardian angel.

results tmr!

2009-12-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOSH!
tmr's the big day. well sort of, oh dear.
praying, hoping or w'ver isnt gona help me pass.
hopefully a miracle will happen!!!
wish me luck &all aitee:DD cos i'l def be needing it! haha.
im kinda looking forward to going back to school actually.
cos i'l be wearing KR's school Uniform. &im crossing my fingers hoping that it wouldnt be the last time!

just logged into facebook's cafe world. all my food's rotten!
send me food aitee:D haha.

i tried getting my beauty rest earlier but somehow i laid there wide awake.
whats worsts, im coming down w' fever as well. poor me=/
mayb its bcos of the results tmr. im so so nervous!!

anws, Lela &the rest are here:D till tmr!
wish me luck aitee.

imissyou Bubu!

p/s: someone's watching over me:D

today's the sixteen.

2009-12-16T17:54:00.000+08:00

I honestly find it rather difficult to believe that the year's ending so so quickly.
strange as it seems, i kinda want time to just stop. i need more time to enjoy myself.
everything's just happening so rapidly.
X'mas is just around the corner [ which is a gd thing ]
*party at my house on 24th.
QueenB's divorce issues w' Him is abt to be finalised. but only next Jan. court hearing.
but the worst part: results for N is coming out this Friday!
&Haiqal's in NS:D

its funny cos others seems so excited abt getting their results. their all looking forward to it.
to be honest, i am actually pretty nervous abt it. in fact, im feeling the exact opposite of what their feeling. cos i cant afford to fail my N.
not that going to ITE is a bad or w'ver, but ITE isnt where i see myself in the years to come.
damn! i really regret not studying harder. blame my foolishness!

to come to think of it, i've been away from the cyber world for a pretty long time.
not that anything happened, just didnt have the mood to blog.

OH! Ilya's finally 16. HAHA! i know its belated but yeah. HappySweetSixteen:D
so together w' Dalila &the rest, we went out to catch a movie at Orchard.
it was an outting for Her actually.
watched Planet 51. i'l go straight to the point, i didnt enjoy it. neither did Ruby.
so halfway through the show, we decided to go somewhere else. haha. leaving the rest in the cinema, freezing to death.
since FiFi was at Wheelock, we walked over.
caught up w' her. etc etc.
actually, we barely know each other. Ruby& i met her through Azra.
oh yeah, cos we went to Buttery Factory abt a week ago.
the girls ended up staying over at my place. till the next night. i had serious fun w'em :D as in literally.

Azra, Ruby, FiFi&i, together w' the guys, Afdhal, Fazli, Tom, this guy name Nizam i think &a few others, (sorry cos i kinda forgot yr names, haha.) went Butter Factory.
i was so so proud of the fact that we were the ones who got the party started. HONESTLY.
we were the first on the dance floor:D
cos everyone else was just waiting for one another to make the first move.
the first 15mins was seriously a bore! like a total waste of time. cos everyone was just standing around &talking among themselves

oh &i saw Shakilah:D that crazy girlf of mine!
only aft seeing her, made me realise how much i miss having her around.

Tons of new photos are just dying to be uploaded. i know i always say i'll upload em, &to those whom im suppose to upload for, sorry guys.
is lazy a good excuse? haha.

Ystd i caught a really really awesome movie. wait, i forgot the title, something to do w' the Avatar! &&Planet 51's definitly nothing compared to this. i cross my heart! neither is Twilight.
(p/s: twilight's considered cos the actors, most of em have SMOKING HOT ABS:D )
in my opinion, the story line is somehow similar to 10,000BC.
Jay brought me to see it:D
i've been spending quite alot of time w' him since the Hols started(:
but on most occasions, we end up having misunderstandings or small insignificant arguments.
&in most cases, most of the quarreling were uncalled for.
things are getting a lil rocky, as if we could snap anytime if provoked.
well hopefully, everything turns out finee. i know we will be okay.

Mamat, Lela &Alip stayed over last night.
they are Haiqal's siblings. it was really fun actually:D haha.
together w' the 4month old Baby boy who was uber adorable!
we were practically playing cards the entire night. until Mamat had to go to work at 6.30 am. till it was left w' Lela &I.

WAIT!
back to the topic where X'mas is like here, i've already got a list of things i want for X'mas. HAHAH!
not that i've been good this year but i havent been very bad now... Have i? :D
X'mas Shopping w' Jay. &def there'l Shopping Sprees w' my Girlfs:D
which also reminds me, QueenB has finally put the house together. every necessary furniture is here. actually abt a month ago or so. but im really really happy that everythings getting back to normal.
the X'mas tree is up as well, the lights, some of the decorations:D
everything's still being touched up every once in awhile.
X'mas party at my house. im actually twice as excited abt this year cos, this year, the Bastard's not gona be arnd. no one's gona be the wet blanket &spoil the mood.

QueenB's in Aust now. on a vacation.
probably shopping &worrying abt us at e same time.
i do miss her actually. feels weird coming home past my "curfew" w/o anyone nagging.

&im home alone. almost bored to tears.
Jay's w' his friends watching a movie.
suppose to meet him later on:D im missing him.

p/s: if yr doing it back to me on purpose, dont.

Ilya's sweet 16!

2009-12-16T13:59:00.000+08:00

i'l be blogging soon:D
xoxo.

First december post

2009-12-04T14:11:00.000+08:00

i love my legs:D haha.
but, i still have to slim down quite a bit!
i just realised how much i love my legs ever since ystd. cos' they were busy taking photos& i thought that my legs looked good in those photos. damn!
self-obsess much:D

so yeah, those pictures i uploaded were taken ystd.
Ilya& Indah our photographer.
there's plenty more photos of me& the rest. check it out in Facebook if u wana.
we caught the show Case39! its kinda fucked up. something like drag me to hell.
i sat next to Fit &Fazli. aitee, i own up i was screaming half the time.
sadly Ruby &Hazman couldn't make it. but i did enjoy myself w' em.
i was pretty much having fun w' em almost the whole time.

met Fazli at Bugis mrt, walked to Iluma to meet e rest.
watched the movie than met up w' Herman& the guys.
walked to cityhall. slacked arnd. a couple of em headed back home first.
aft which remaining went to the Arcade.
went home early! for e first time in a long time.
meeting up w' em on Sunday agn! im EXCITED alrd :D heeh!

the other day went Sheesha w' Yiwei, Zuhair &Yongwen.
agn i did have a good time. we did alota stupid things. dont ask what. cos its between us four. haha.
met Jay aft that together w' his friends.
the next day met up as well. together w' Hamka, Khai &Ali. played funny games at MacCafe:D
totally enjoyed their company!

have quite alota photos to upload still. heehs.
till than!

p/s: you give me a sense of security.

outting w' Daarlings!

2009-12-04T13:58:00.000+08:00

dont u just hate it?

2009-11-28T02:38:00.000+08:00

I'm here, just to complain abt quite a couple of things.

today, totally wasn't one of my better days. it sucked, big time.
secondly, i hate it whenever my boyf &i quarrel over really insignificant things which strangely affects our r/s big time.
i hate the fact that girls out there wants to be w' him even though they are aware he is w' me.
its super frustrating whenever they flirt w' him &whats even more fucked up, is the part when he behaves like nothing has happened.
whats worst is when he takes their side. gosh!
i may not be perfect, of a matter of fact, no one is. everyone has their flaws. But this? tsk. how can i not be upset?

remember how i use to tell others not to believe in Karma?
i think its kinda acting on me.
i go out w' other guys, but not like a date or anything. now's his turn. 3rd December.
thank God im not gona sit home &brood over it.
girlf's are going out w' me on that day. Ain's finally back& she, as per usual, has arranged an outing for all:D ya may say that, that's the only good news i have today. at least those sweetlings will be there for me:DD
iloveyou guys!

ANWS, so yeah. its not gona be fair if i carry on complaining abt my boyf. hmmmm.
feel so fucked up. bitch mode officially turned on, starting from now, till erm, 4december 2009, 24/7!

get well soon Saayang. waiting for yr call! yr phone's off.